Not tonight dear. I have a headache...

Not really, but I don't feel like blogging today.

And "I have a headache..." is a classic excuse among us women right?!

I usually just say I'm tired. Which happens to always be the truth. Because I'm ALWAYS tired.

Hence the lack of post today.

A-Z...Monday Meme

I had a lovely weekend. But my wonderful husband woke me up at 4:30 this morning so I'm awfully tired. Blah, blah, blah...on to the meme:

A -Age: 33
B -Bed size: King
C -Chore you hate: Bathrooms
D -Doughnuts or Kolaches: Doughnuts (IDK what kolaches are)
E -Essential start your day item: Going to the bathroom
F -Favorite color: Green
G -Gold or Silver: Gold & some silver
H -Height: 5'6"
I -Instruments you play: Not a one
J -Jokes or Rhymes: Jokes!
K -Kids: 2
L -Living arrangements: With S and the teen
M -Movie: Lots; I can watch just about anything.
N -Nicknames: None really. :(
O -Overnight hospital stays: Never
P -Pet Peeve: Stupid people
Q -Quote you like: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."-Bernard Baruch
R -Right or left handed: Right
S -Siblings: 2 sisters
T -Time you wake up: I'm supposed to be up at 6:30, but I usually get up at 6:50.
U -Underwear: Clean
V -Vegetable you dislike: Asparagus
W -Ways you run late: Ways? Not sure, but it happens ALL THE TIME.
X -X-rays you've had: Just dental
Y -Yummy food you make: Everything I make is yummy!
Z -Zodiac sign: Pisces

He will always be Bad to me...

Even though his personal life was always under scrutiny and being judged, there's no doubt that musically he will always be known as the "King of Pop".

I can't tell you the number of times that my middle sis and I played his Thriller record, emulating his style. We even received glitter socks & a matching glove that Christmas. It was like hitting the lottery...

He was iconic.

And that's how I'll choose to remember him because he will always be Bad to me.

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Last week I discussed my lack of motivation when it comes to exercising and eating right. I put myself out there and announced my goals hoping that it would help to move me in the right direction.

Eh...maybe not so much.

My goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times.

The reality:

1. While I did drink water everyday, I only managed to meet my goal of 4 glasses on two days. Blah. I tried carrying water with me all the time & I cut back on the diet sodas, but that didn't seem to help. I'm just not a big drinker period - another problem in itself.

2. I did take my vitamins everyday, except for Saturday & Sunday. Apparently everything falls through on the weekends including this.

3. This was a complete FAIL. I only worked out once. One single time, when I thought I would die and subsequently went to bed at 9-ish.

Ugh. That was not a good attempt at meeting my goals at all. I admit it and I'm not going to make excuses for it. I suck.

I will not dwell on the bad though. This is a new week & I will work on the these goals for the next 7 days:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times.

Yep, they are the exact same because I am determined to tackle these before moving on.

Persistence will pay off. Right?

Pig Pickin' Cake

A few weeks ago we rode our motorcycle to the lake and ate at a little BBQ place up there. I had something called "pig pickin'" cake while I was there and LOVED it.

Knowing that I would want to recreate it at home, I tried to figure out all the ingredients as I was eating. I assumed that the restaurant had given it the cutesy name because they served BBQ, never thinking that I could find the recipe online.

I really wanted to make it for our cookout on Sunday so I decided to try Google. And thousands of recipes with that name popped up. I choose this one from allrecipes.com but made it in a 13x9 inside of layers since I was transporting it.

On Monday S was bragging about my cake so last night I made another three (one recipe, smaller pans) for his co-workers and THIS time I took pictures to share.

Pig Pickin' Cake

For the cake batter you'll need:



1 box yellow cake mix
4 eggs
1/2 cup butter
11 oz can mandarin oranges

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease & flour your pan(s). Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl for 3 minutes. Pour batter into the prepared pans and bake for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. (It was closer to 35-40 minutes baking time in a 13x9 pan) Allow the cakes cool completely before icing.



For the icing you'll need:



1 3.4 oz package of instant vanilla pudding
15 oz can of crushed pineapple
1 cup chopped pecans (optional)
1/4 cup flaked coconut
1 8 oz cool whip, thawed

Mix the pudding and pineapple; add pecans & coconut. Then carefully fold the cool whip into the pudding mixture. Spread onto layers and refrigerate.



Since my oven was already on and I knew that these cakes were meant for someone else, I went ahead and made a Paula Deen's Peach Cobbler too.



Damn. What a consolation prize.

More Cookout Conversations...

Whenever my family gets together we have a good time. I guarantee that during these get togethers you will hear some stories from the past & some good natured insults.

I'm constantly teasing and joking those I love. I practice daily on S & SS but it's always fun to share the "love" with my family during a large gathering. And of course they show the "love" back.

That's just how we roll.

You've already heard how my lil sis accused me of acting like a teenager** but I forgot to include the part where my middle sis said S was "a good man".

Most people would totally take that as a compliment.

I'm not most people though.

I found it to be incredibly funny.

It just sounded corny to me. Plus, she had some other further comments to go along with that assessment, such as she didn't know if I would be doing as well without him.

That part I should have been insulted by but we know the truth. And that is just like any good marriage/partnership/relationship it takes both people to make it work & to make it a success.

Everything that we've accomplished, we've done it together.

It might not always be 50/50, but on the days when I'm feeling like a 40, he's the 60 and vice-versa. It's a true PARTNERSHIP.

And while I laughed and made jokes about it, the truth is that S IS a good man and I'm glad that he's my man.

Guess she was right after all.



**Yesterday's post was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. The comment made by lil sis was after I told her that she had the mind of a 10 year old, and it was joke. I knew it was a joke & I took it as a joke. I was merely saying I can only be ME at any age.

I've been accused...

...of acting like a teenager. Yesterday at our Father's Day/Birthday Day/Anniversary* cookout, my lil sis said that I act like a teenager.

I'm not sure how a 33 year old is supposed to act since this is the first time (and I would imagine the only time) that I will be 33. I act like a teenager? What does that mean?

Is there a set standard for 30+ women that no one told me about? Am I supposed to start wearing moo-moos and go gray gracefully?

Did I violate some unspoken law by getting a tattoo last November? Or was that okay since I was still thirty-two?

Should I give up riding on the Harley and start using the scooter in Walmart? Would elevator music be more appropriate for someone my age instead of A7X?

Honestly, I don't feel 33 (however that should feel) & whenever I tell people my age, it's almost like an outer body experience when I'm saying it.

O.M.G. I'm thirty-freakin'-three. Almost 35...and then 40. Where did the time go?!

No doubt the last 12 years have been great but it was just yesterday that I was a newlywed at 21. In a blink of an eye, I'm in my mid-thirties and approaching forty.

Anyone have an extra "40's" manual so I can start reading up on appropriate behavior?

Heaven forbid, I don't act my age.

The Power of Three

THREE has always been my favorite number. I'm not sure why, but as far back as I can remember, I always choose "3" when I had to pick a number.

It might be because my birthday is in March - the THIRD month of the year.

Or maybe it was because I was the first of THREE girls.

I just don't know.

When I met S and he said his favorite number was also THREE, I knew it was kismet.

S, SS & me = THREE
I have THREE bratty nephews.
I'm THIRTY THREE at this very moment.
I own THREE cars. (Technically we have 6 vehicles at the house, but only THREE are in my name.)

So, why all the excitement about THREE today?

FOOD LION TRIPLES - that's what!

All of my transactions are posted at Craving Savings. Feel free to pop over to see the great deals I'm getting.

I fully admit that I'm a coupon-a-holic. Don't judge.

Have a great weekend ya'll!

(Don't forget to enter our Guest Blog giveaway for a $25 amazon.com giftcard!)

"Lettuce" Shred

A couple weeks ago all I could talk about was Jillian Michaels and her torture exercise DVD - The 30 Day Shred. She was thoroughly kicking my tail each night.

Notice I said was.

After that week I took a break from it. That break has turned into an extended vacation. Now I would say it's more like a permanent separation.

But I don't want it to be.

My follow through with things that I really don't want to do - dieting, exercise, taking vitamins, cleaning - is awful. AWFUL. When it comes to these dreaded tasks my determination starts out strong but then comes to a screeching halt.

S recognizes this lacking quality in me. Sometimes he just makes a friendly comment...

"What happened to the diet?" as I greedily shovel Häagen-Dazs in my mouth.
"Shut up." I reply in between bites.

Other times he gives me a little push in the right direction. Like helping me look for sports bras in Walmart.

We found a three pack for 10 bucks that work pretty good when I wear two at a time. I only know this because I tried them on at home and did a test jumping jack. I have not actually wore them during a workout, and they mock me for it daily.

I know he only has my best interest at heart, and that he is just trying to support me in goals that I WANT to obtain. But that doesn't stop me from being a b*tch about it when he's "encouraging" me.

Truth is, it's not him I'm mad at. I'm mad at myself.

I hate that my motivation fizzles and that I end up quitting. I hate that my follow through is worthless. I hate that I fail myself every time I stop doing things to improve myself.

I don't know why I feel defeated before I even start. I don't understand why I have to work at it so hard and it comes natural to other people.

I've been following Angie's "Trim the Fat" Thursdays and I've decided to follow her example. Every week she lists her goals for the upcoming week. The best part is that she updates the following week, being very honest about how she did.

I think (or at least I hope) that trying this will hold me accountable. And that I will make obtainable goals.

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. (I know it should be more, but I need a workable starting point.)
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times.

So there is what I hope to accomplish this week.

Wish me luck! (Advice welcome!)

Guest blogger SURPRISE!

Wow, it's that time again. Seems like yesterday B was asking me to do a guest blog and now I'M BACK! Bet she didn't expect one like this.

S here reporting for duty.

First of all, I need some help. SS is a senior this coming up year. He wants to go to college (Yeah! He will soon be going to college. Can we say travel for B & I?) but I'm a real idiot when it comes to this stuff.

He is really awesome at music and wants to be a music teacher plus he wants to do marching band in college. So I'm asking for help from you. What questions do I need to ask the prospective colleges to help me, help him make a good choice? Do you have any general advice about getting accepted or getting scholarships?

I hope you can help.

B's bloggy anniversary just passed so I want to wish her a Happy Bloggy Anniversary! I enjoy reading her posts daily and hope there are many more to come.

Actually this is her 300 post! To celebrate both occasions I am giving away a $25 Amazon.com gift card to one of you guys.


Just like B does, I came up with a couple of ways to enter:

If you leave me a comment helping me with my college issue, then you get your first entry.

I REALLY need your help.

You can get an extra entry if you follow B. (She said to make sure you leave her a comment for all this so she can use Random.org - whatever that is.)

You can get 3 extra entries if you Twitter about the giveaway. (Again, I'm clueless about this Twitter stuff, but B says to put this in.)

Finally, to get 5 extra entries post your own blog telling people about my giveaway. (Make sure to leave a comment. B is nagging me about this.)

You could have 10 entries total, which gives you pretty good odds at winning. B says you HAVE to leave your email though.

B will choose a winner on Sunday because it's Father's Day.

I know this is probably not what she wanted for her guest blog, but it is what it is. Maybe if she's good, I'll give her a present too.

Boomchickawahwah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are your random numbers:

59
Timestamp: 2009-06-22 13:20:38 UTC

Congrats Susan! I've sent you an email and you have 48 hours to reply!

Jacked Up Mess & Caffiene Addiction

I apologize in advance for this rambling mess of a post...and promise to make it up to you tomorrow. (Hint! Hint!)

Yesterday we received some disappointing news from a family member. I'm not going to go into details at this time because I'm pretty upset about the entire situation. If I dived into it all, I would say some really mean things and I don't want to do that.

Instead I'd like to take some time to get past the emotional part of it, and see if we can make the best of a not-so-good situation. I know this is very cryptic...just know that everyone is in good health & details will be forthcoming once I'm "okay" with it.

It doesn't help my mood & mindset that I woke up to rain. For what seems like the 100th day in a row. When did VA become Seattle? Or Forks? Edward save me already!

And subconsciously I choose a gray shirt. ~sigh~ Honestly, I could have used a bright sunny day today of all days.

In other (much better) news, my swap package finally got to Eve! I'm so happy that she liked everything that I sent. It was a challenge to come up with interesting stuff that she could actually use from my hometown.

S said we should have sent her a Dr. Pepper because it's a known fact that we drink A LOT of it around these parts.

"The company sells more Dr Pepper in the Roanoke Valley than any other metropolitan area east of the Mississippi River, according to Dittrich. In the past, the city has been named the "Dr Pepper Capital of the World" and broke world records for its mass consumption of Dr Pepper in the late 1950s."

That may be but this type of morning calls for large amounts of spiked COFFEE. Maybe I'll hit the DP later on.

Anyway, I have a couple of surprises planned for tomorrow so I hope you will forgive me and find your way back then!

The Bloggity Blog Blog Tag

Carey @ Life in the Carpool Lane came up with these questions for when you have nothing else to blog about.

Thank goodness! I'm never prepared for Mondays.

So I give you The Bloggity Blog Blog Tag:

Where are you blogging right now?
At work; 98% of the time this is where I'm blogging from.

How many unpublished posts do you have in your 'draft' box?
None. Why keep all this genius to myself?!

Whose blog inspired you to start your own?
I don't know that it was one person. First, I found the "savings" blogs. Then I found a few cooking blogs and I was hooked. If you go back, waaayy back, you can see the first few posts were written with those topics in mind.

When do you usually publish your posts?
After I get to work in the mornings. Occasionally, I will have them done early enough to use post-options and set the time for early morning but it's pretty rare that I think that far ahead.

In your guesstimation, how many blogs do you read?
20-30 everyday; more when I have time to check my google reader.

How long have you been blogging for?
June 5th was my blogiversary. :o)

Why did you start blogging?
I don't know that I have an exact reason, but it seemed like fun to be able to write whatever you wanted to. Then when I started to get comments, it was really fascinating to see other people's opinions on what I was writing.

Why do you keep blogging?
I've built some great relationships with other bloggers. I love to read what's happening in their lives and share my life with them.

If you could only recommend one blog to a friend, which one would it be?
That's a tough one. I read an odd selection of blogs - everything from cooking, to savings, mommy blogs & ones that are definitely not for the PG rated peeps. Sorry, but I'm bowing out of this question. I recommend EVERYONE on my blogroll.

If the internet was "turned off" for one month, what you you do with all the time you used to spend blogging?
Ideally, I would organize my home, file papers at work and maybe tackle a few projects I've been avoiding.
Truthfully, I would be bored and overcompensate by watching more worthless reality TV or reading more.

As Carey said, feel free to grab this and pass it on!

Swapping & Other Randomness

I jumped on board with Shannon's Hometown Swap as soon as she announced it. Only realizing later that I would have to think of interesting things to send my swap partner.

I live in a very tiny town, in a very rural county, next to a smaller-side city. Did you catch all that?

Thinking outside the box I did manage to fill my box and ship it off to my partner. As of today she still hasn't posted it, so I'm not going to ruin the surprise, but I cannot wait to see what she thinks.

I received my box on Wednesday from Lana in Texas.



Lana sent me three postcards showing the beautiful Texas scenery, a key chain, a magnet for my fridge, a spoon rest, playing cards and a large button proclaiming "Don't Mess With Texas". I'm contemplating changing it to "Don't Mess with ME" and wearing it around the house during Cherry Monkey time.

Thank you Lana & Shannon for an awesome swap!

Although I'm not officially declaring this a Blog Fart Friday because I wanted to give The Hometown Swap it's due, I am going to include some of my normal Friday randomness.

It just wouldn't be Friday without it...

- My dart team took a total butt whooping last night, losing 9 to 2 in our first summer league game. In our defense these guys were A & B league players, while we are C league all the way. I have to say that even though we lost (BIG!) we had an awesome time! We were at our home bar and the other team were some of the nicest people that we've played against.

-Sadly, S missed the first game because he was away on "business". That's in quotes because "business" meant going to Myrtle Beach, staying at the Hilton & partying till 2 in the morning with his clients.

-I've said it before and I'm saying it again - sweet tea is the nectar of the Gods. Seriously.

-Lula has been known to refer to her section of VA as Forks, as in The Twilight Forks, because of all the rain and foggy conditions. This week MY part of VA can also be declared very Forks-like. Minus the sexy vamps and werewolves. Unfortunately.

-Since TMM made mention of snakes in the toilet, I have to cut the light on when I go to the bathroom during the night. That makes for one tiring night when too much sweet tea is consumed.

-I'm looking forward to S's return today, weekend graduation parties & seeing my pal A's newborn son.

Have a great weekend ya'll!

Don't be silly, Toto...

...there's no tornado coming.

Eh, well there COULD have been. Yesterday afternoon the National Weather Service issued a Tornado Warning for my area.

In a matter of moments my father called, my sister called and I called S to share the impending doom and warn them. My stepmother went outside to secure the loose items outside as the clouds began to darken.

And me? I went outside too...in order to record the swirling clouds and take pictures of the evil looking sky.

It might be hard to see, but the clouds were moving pretty quickly, joining together to create one big, dark, ominous sky.





Please accept my apologies for all the talking in the background. And don't make fun of my accent. I can't hear it, but I'm sure you can.

Thank goodness I carry my point & shoot camera everywhere with me so I could get a few shots of the sky. (I love my new camera but it's too bulky to carry around, and it was too expensive to leave in my car.)






Fortunately the warning expired around 4:30 yesterday and everything was good for the rest of the evening. In fact, there was a beautiful pink sky last night as the sun went down.

I would have taken some pictures of that too, except So You Think You Can Dance was on...and well, you know I'm a reality tv show addict so just use your imagination.

...Could You Be My Neighbor?

A sign similar to this went up in the front yard of the house next door to us a couple weeks ago.

It does not excite me.

I'm not good with change.

I liked very much that my old neighbor kept to themselves. In fact, I'm not even sure who lived there. It was rumored that it was an older lady but I swear to you that I never saw anyone coming or going from that house.

Now we are anxiously waiting to see who our new neighbors will be. And we pray that whoever it is, they don't mess up the very essence of our street.

I say that because we have been burned in the past.

This is our second home. Our first house was in the city and located off of a business main road. It was suitable for what we needed at the time, but it was truly a starter house. We always knew that it wouldn't be forever; however our neighbors made it pretty nice.

On one side there was a retired RN, that had survived breast cancer and now devoted all her time to gardening. Her backyard was full of roses...beautiful roses that ranged the spectrum of the rainbow. Evelyn took great pride in her yard and it showed.

A family with 3 boys occupied the home on the other side. They were fairly nice, and we seemed to get along well. SS and one of their boys became friendly when they played on the same baseball team one summer. My lil sis befriended the older boy *ahem* and my husband became pals with the Dad.

Keep in mind that we lived in the city, so the houses were closely situated having only a few feet of yard that kept us divided. It was a blessing that our neighbors were good people, and we took that for granted.

After about 4 years of "comfort", the neighborhood began to change. People a few houses down moved and rented their house out. Then Evelyn passed away. And eventually the family next door fell on hard times and had to move.

The new neighbors were nothing like the old. They didn't care about Evelyn's roses, and barely managed to keep their grass cut. Which is more than I can say for the people on the other side. Sometimes their grass would be over a foot high before they would cut it. That alone drove S crazy.

Along with the changes, we started to outgrow our starter house. Plus, we wanted to put a little distance between us & the neighbors. All of a sudden those few feet of grass seemed pretty claustrophobic. The city looked grimy and our street had forever changed.

So we packed it up and moved to the country. Our street now is a very quiet, cul-de-sac with only a handful of houses, each one having an acre or more.

We got our breathing room and then some.


We've been there for 4 years and it's been dang near close to perfect. Even though there are a few cosmetic things I'd still like to change, it's exactly what we wanted.

And our neighbors...for the most part they keep to themselves, often waving as we pass. Sometimes S talks to the neighbor to the right. When a tree fell down on our street and blocked the road, one of our neighbors came out to help remove it. After we first moved and one of my cats wandered off, another neighbor called to let me know.

We've already got one set of new neighbors. This past summer a new family moved in right across the street from us. Imagine our surprise when we realized their daughter had been in the marching band the year before. Occasionally those particular neighbors will ring our bell (sometimes at weird times) but overall they keep to themselves too.

Now I just hope that the new neighbors appreciate our quiet neighborhood, and do their part to keep it that way.

And if they can't, please God let them be good looking, down-to-Earth people who keep a well groomed yard, ride Harleys and like a good margarita on the weekends.

I'm just sayin'...

Pervs R Us...NOT!

A quick glance at Google Analytics tells me I might need to change some of my subject matter.

Some popular searches people use to find my blog:

succulent soccer moms - Is someone planning on having a soccer mom roasted?

nude soccer moms - As if I would ever post a nude picture of myself anywhere. Pu-leeze.

soccer mom show me your wife -Again with the voyeurism...

"sex blog" - I know I've done a few posts regarding sex (like the Eden Fantasies giveaway or the Sexis plug) but I'd hardly consider this a "sex blog"

average mom sex - I'd like to think I'm above average thankyouverymuch.

+soccer mom f$cking - ....no comment...

brother f$cker moms not home video hub - I don't even know what the hell this is supposed to mean, but I'm pretty sure I should be offended when the words brother & f$cker appear in the same sentence.

he f$cks his mom pictures - What is wrong with these people?!!



It seems I will have to come up with some code words or something, cause while I'm all for talking about "circus", I don't want to encourage all these pervie "circus" lovers to find their way here.

"Circus" of course, being my new code word...

Out till fall...

I just realized that I never posted any pictures from Bratty Nephew #3's graduation. And since it's Monday & I'm up entirely too early, I thought this would be the perfect time to do so.

His big day (for the 2nd time) was a couple weeks ago and next year he will be in kindergarten.

Geez I'm old...

After all the kids file in, they do the Pledge of Alligance...

...then sing a few songs, including "You Are My Sunshine"

After trying to get his attention for 15 minutes, he finally gives me a little smirk. BN#3 looks less than thrilled huh?!


See his little diploma? Too cute. His sister has a carpet burn on her nose from earlier that week. I took her to the doctor for her shots and she fell in the waiting room. :o(

She wants to be like her big brother.



Apparently the cap is only for kids...

This little piggie eats "trees"...

...while all the rest eat cake.

Well, except for the Graduate. He's too busy celebrating.

(Captions coming soon; time to shower now.)

Our high school graduation is this week....let the festivities begin!

Tums can't fix this...

*Does anyone have an extra ark? Seriously it's raining. Again. And I'm ready to load up the animals and head to dry ground.

Of course by "animals" I mean S...{{rawr}}

*At our spaghetti dinner fundraiser last night (raised $665 - woohoo!) S & I realized we only have 12 months of high school left with the teen. We then fist bumped in celebration.

*During said fundraiser last night two teenage girls said they like my shirt. My Walmart shirt. So does that make me cool? Or does that make Walmart cool?

*All parents/adults fist bump right?

*After my complaint about Comcast last week, I had a comment from Mark Casem @ ComcastCares1. After one email exchange last Friday, I've heard nothing. Nada. Nilch from him. Ummm, if they really cared then I wouldn't haven't been left hanging...

*By Walmart shirt, I actually mean the second one I bought over the weekend. Same shirt, different color. Just trying to keep it real here.

*We signed up for the Summer Dart league...that starts next week and guess who's captain? Me! Which means absolutely nothing.

*While some call me captain, you can call me a Hot Mama


That's right the Hot Dads recently named me as one of their newest Hot Mama's. (Pictures are on the way fellas!)

*And while I'll be a unimportant captain & a Hot Mama, I will no longer be the booster prez come the end of June and my last official meeting is on Tuesday.

Fist bump anyone??

Have a wonderfully, wicked, rain-free weekend!

Taaat's Right!

For all of you following along, this is the 3rd & final installment of S's latest tattoo.

The first session consisted of just the outline...



Then came a little color, and a lot of background...



Finally, last night it was finished.




Amazing no?

DVDs & Other Torture Devices...

I'm not going to write another post about the torture that Jillian is inflicting on me with that hellish DVD.

Although it's hard to forget about when there is a definite stinging in my thighs and abs today.

She. is. the. devil.

Ahem.

Instead I would like to gather support for my new platform. I believe very strongly that ALL dressing rooms should come with an emergency button.

Picture Staple's easy button, except they are in ALL dressing rooms nationwide and they actually work.



I thought of this little piece of genius yesterday while in a Target dressing room. Any guesses why it came to me at that moment? No?

Well, let me describe that moment for you...

Having found a cute tank top and a sports bra (that claimed to be my size) I grabbed the little placard card and made my way to the dressing room to try on these items.

First the tank...hmmmm yes I think I can make this work by layering another tank so that my bra straps aren't too noticeable.

Side note: I know that showing "the bra straps" is apparently not considered faux pa anymore, but in my world I don't show my straps and I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day. Call me crazy (or southern) but that's how I roll.

Then I brazenly grabbed the sports bra and put it over my head. I started to tug it down over the shoulders, then the pits...and that's when it happened.

It wouldn't move any further. It was stuck.

I swear it felt like hours while I struggled to either bring it down or pull it up. I frantically searched for an emergency button because I thought crying out, as I wanted to do, would have been a little embarrassing.

Seeing as how they didn't have an emergency button, I just kept tugging, tugging, tugging and was finally able to pull it down and get the boobs where they should go.

I would have been better off trying on a jock strap.

Even after all that, I still did a jumping jack right there in the dressing room...cause you know it would have been worth it if it worked.

It SO didn't work. Seriously, this thing had the support of a band aid on my ta-tas and felt like I had just wrapped myself in a large, hot pink rubber band.

Ladies, I don't want anyone else to have to suffer from this kind of pain & suffering, so I ask you, no beg you, to join me in this cause.

If stores are going to sell items made of Lycra and sized completely different than any other item in the world, then they must provide assistance in the dressing rooms. We should not be held hostage while trying on sports bras, bathing suits, shapers or any other form fitting apparel.

The retail industry MUST be held accountable!

Will you join me in this crusade?

Enemy Number One

There's this lady.

Who is too pushy.

She smiles and talks nice, but really she's out to get me.

I just know it. And I would totally kick her butt.

Except that it hurts to lift my leg...

I hate really, really dislike this lady.



Jillian Michael's is evil.

Shannon warned me. Did I listen? NO!

I started that DVD with high hopes and rose colored glasses. Let me tell you, it was about 30 seconds into the WARM UP that I started to think I might die.

Jillian says that you can take a break, but no more than 5 seconds. Apparently she doesn't understand that I need OXYGEN to live and it requires more than 5 seconds to recuperate from parts of her torture.

Another thing that I discovered- my boobs weren't designed for exercise. At one point I was pretty sure that if the lack of oxygen didn't kill me, that my boobs were going to put me into a coma.

Anyone know where I can find a ginormous sports bra?

Or an oxygen tank?

I'm it!

I was tagged by Shannon & Brandy for this meme & since it's Monday...well, you know the drill.

8 things I'm looking forward to:

1. Being off of work today. Yes already!
2. Getting some new books today.
3. Seeing my niece & nephew this afternoon.
4. Having my kitchen clean again. It's a mess right now.
5. Thursday's concert at the high school.
6. Going on vacay. Sometime. Somewhere. No definite plans yet. :(
7. Eating cheerios this morning.
8. Following Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.

8 things I did yesterday:

1. Went to the Flea Market with S.
2. Met my aunt and went to breakfast together.
3. Made beef stroganoff for dinner.
4. Watched Underworld: The Rise of the Lycans on DVD.
5. DVR'd the MTV movie awards - I have not watched it yet.
6. Ate Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream.
7. Switched our home phone to a cell phone.
8. Asked SS to pick up french bread for dinner.

8 things I wish I could do:

1. Possess a high metabolism.
2. Speak Spanish.
3. Organize my clothes.
4. Grow my own veggies.
5. Control my emotions without medication.
6. Win the lottery.
7. Go to Vegas. (S -Hint, hint)
8. See the future.


8 shows I watch:

1. Gossip Girl
2. Nip/ Tuck
3. The Real Housewives of...NY, NJ, GA, Orange County - I watch them all.
4. Dollhouse
5. One Tree Hill
6. Top Chef
7. Daisy of Love
8. True Blood - back on June 14th!

8 favorite fruits:

1. Pineapple
2. Cherries
3. Tomatoes
4. Bananas
5. Apples
6. Tangerines
7. Grapes
8. Watermelon

8 places I'd like to travel to:

1. Ireland
2. Scotland
3. England
4. Italy
5. Hawaii
6. France
7. California
8. New England

These were all Shannon's choices too, but I like them so I'm keeping them.


8 places I've lived:

1. Roanoke
2. Salem
3. Botetourt

Sorry but I've never really moved away from my family.

Tagging these 8 pals:

Denise
TMM
Carrie
Karie
A Cheap Chick
Katie
Martha
Danyele

And anyone else that wants to do it!