Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Enemy Number One

There's this lady.

Who is too pushy.

She smiles and talks nice, but really she's out to get me.

I just know it. And I would totally kick her butt.

Except that it hurts to lift my leg...

I hate really, really dislike this lady.



Jillian Michael's is evil.

Shannon warned me. Did I listen? NO!

I started that DVD with high hopes and rose colored glasses. Let me tell you, it was about 30 seconds into the WARM UP that I started to think I might die.

Jillian says that you can take a break, but no more than 5 seconds. Apparently she doesn't understand that I need OXYGEN to live and it requires more than 5 seconds to recuperate from parts of her torture.

Another thing that I discovered- my boobs weren't designed for exercise. At one point I was pretty sure that if the lack of oxygen didn't kill me, that my boobs were going to put me into a coma.

Anyone know where I can find a ginormous sports bra?

Or an oxygen tank?

23 comments:

Too Many Hats said...

LOL - I am sure Jillian is serious exercise.

Check out Title Nine Bras - google them.

Lorie said...

LOL...By the way I hate, hate, hate sports bras, you may not have this problem, but having not so big boobies, a sports bra makes them not so boobies at all!!! Hey check out my blog, I put up the info on the carving trike, I love it.....let me know what you think.

Tammy Howard said...

Jillian is the devil.

Jayme said...

I'd heard all these rumors also....it's enough to stay away :) I think Michael's getting me Wii Active for my birthday...not so IN YOUR FACE LOSE WEIGHT YOU WUSS type of deal ;)

Amy said...

You are better than me just attempting to work out. I know how much better I would feel if I did it, but I am too tired to even make the time. Sad.

Martha said...

You go girl!!

Denise said...

Good for you for exercising! Sorry about the girls though, maybe you could bind them like back in the olden days, not that I remember those.

But it should come as no surprise that Jillian is the devil-- have you seen how mean she is on Biggest Loser? Of course, if she got too "in my face" I'd just sit on her. She can't weigh more than 50 lbs.

Shannon said...

I told you.

But at least we can be tortured together. Like the twisted masochists we are.

Kat said...

Well...I know that I need to stay away. But I am quite sure that someone is whispering in her ear that she needs to get me. Because I don't even like to walk up the hill to get the mail...

April said...

I'm proud of you for attempting it!

mommaof4wife2r said...

i have thought of getting that on the wii...and then, i remember how mean she is on biggest loser and how if i cried doing the wii, my hubs may have me admitted!

Aleta said...

OMG - when you find the ginormous sports bra -- post where to buy it!!! I need one too. Thanks for the laughter!

S said...

i love your big boobs

Queenie Jeannie said...

Jillian is tough, but she's got NOTHING on the The Firm biotches, lol!! I hear ya on the boob thing. As for the sports bras, I found some at Walmart.

CaraBee said...

What kind of a break is 5 seconds? That's like the warm up for a break. Another reason to avoid that skinny bitch.

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

I so need to get my butt in gear and start exercising. Don't think I'll be trying the same one you are...

And I hear you on the boobs...but I hate sports bras...you just end up with a ginormous uniboob!

WhisperingWriter said...

FIVE seconds????

Okay, I can't get that DVD. I'd die.

Karen MEG said...

I agree, that is evil with a rock hard bod and sinister smile.

Getting old does suck, but I'm happy to do it with ya, sweetie!

Roxane said...

I have never done Jillian's workouts but I have been doing the old school Buns of Steel workout on VHS and it's really kicking my ass!

Carrie said...

I did two days of the 30 day shred and wanted to die.

Jillian Michaels is eeeee.vil.

Penny Lane said...

Which DVD are you doing? I have the one with the three 20 minute super hard workouts on it, and you're right, she's super tough. I usually do workouts by The Firm, but I like hers, too. I'm thinking about buying her two newest. She is mean, though. But hey, she does deliver results.

As for bras, try TJ Maxx. I'm not kidding, they have name brand workout clothes for a steal! Check it out!

Kevin Lomax said...

Hmm, well, I wouldn't mind wrestling for a round with her... ;-)

cjrambling said...

Oh God. Between this post and the "help" button, I'm still wiping away tears. And when somebody invents/finds a ginormous sports bra that actually works and won't cost me my right arm, let me know. I totally get the coma comment. If you've never gotten a concussion from your own body parts, you haven't lived ;)