Wednesday, June 3, 2009

DVDs & Other Torture Devices...

I'm not going to write another post about the torture that Jillian is inflicting on me with that hellish DVD.

Although it's hard to forget about when there is a definite stinging in my thighs and abs today.

She. is. the. devil.

Ahem.

Instead I would like to gather support for my new platform. I believe very strongly that ALL dressing rooms should come with an emergency button.

Picture Staple's easy button, except they are in ALL dressing rooms nationwide and they actually work.



I thought of this little piece of genius yesterday while in a Target dressing room. Any guesses why it came to me at that moment? No?

Well, let me describe that moment for you...

Having found a cute tank top and a sports bra (that claimed to be my size) I grabbed the little placard card and made my way to the dressing room to try on these items.

First the tank...hmmmm yes I think I can make this work by layering another tank so that my bra straps aren't too noticeable.

Side note: I know that showing "the bra straps" is apparently not considered faux pa anymore, but in my world I don't show my straps and I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day. Call me crazy (or southern) but that's how I roll.

Then I brazenly grabbed the sports bra and put it over my head. I started to tug it down over the shoulders, then the pits...and that's when it happened.

It wouldn't move any further. It was stuck.

I swear it felt like hours while I struggled to either bring it down or pull it up. I frantically searched for an emergency button because I thought crying out, as I wanted to do, would have been a little embarrassing.

Seeing as how they didn't have an emergency button, I just kept tugging, tugging, tugging and was finally able to pull it down and get the boobs where they should go.

I would have been better off trying on a jock strap.

Even after all that, I still did a jumping jack right there in the dressing room...cause you know it would have been worth it if it worked.

It SO didn't work. Seriously, this thing had the support of a band aid on my ta-tas and felt like I had just wrapped myself in a large, hot pink rubber band.

Ladies, I don't want anyone else to have to suffer from this kind of pain & suffering, so I ask you, no beg you, to join me in this cause.

If stores are going to sell items made of Lycra and sized completely different than any other item in the world, then they must provide assistance in the dressing rooms. We should not be held hostage while trying on sports bras, bathing suits, shapers or any other form fitting apparel.

The retail industry MUST be held accountable!

Will you join me in this crusade?

19 comments:

Lorie said...

LOL!!!!! That is so funny, but what I really want to know is how you got that sucker off???? I have BTDT and getting it back over your head is the hardest part...I think if it were me, I might have ripped the tags off, paid for it and had to go home to have someone help me rip it off.......

Jayme said...

LOLOLOLOL!!! I have HAD 1 of those moments where you stand there panicked thinking "oh my god I can't get it on....or off?!?!?!" LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

Denise said...

I think you should start a Facebook group-- that will really spread the word.

Of course, nothing like this has EVER happened to me because I'm about as wide as a toothpick. I hear that snickering-- don't you know that camera adds 150 pounds???

April said...

I got tears runnin down my face from laughing so hard. I have been there a few times myself. And always with a sportsbra!!!

Amy said...

Sounds similar to my experience at Old Navy this past weekend. All I wanted to do after trying on countless different articles of clothing, was to go home and stick my finger down my throat!

Sign me up for the crusade :D

Kat said...

Oh my goodness. Do you think that I might have burned any calories laughing at your experience? Yeah. That is what I thought.

I am not sure that I would have wanted assistance. Except for a pair of scissors clandestinely slipped under the door.

Tammy Howard said...

Oh, I'm in! I often cry for help in similar matters at home... Maybe it's the designers who oughtta be held responsible.

mommaof4wife2r said...

let's start a campaign...but gap does have the "help button" believe it or not...

Aleta said...

OMG - YES, I'm with you!!!

I've had momoments like that and come out of the dressing room with a face bright red from the exhaustion of trying to get the darn thing off!

Jen said...

Because I have so been there, I am totally joining you in this.

LOL!!!

Dejoni said...

I'm with you on the white shoes and bra straps. Must be a southern thing!

Marie said...

Does Victorias Secret have sports bras? Cause those sales girls are always waiting outside the door ready to be all up in your business if you need help.

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Do you have a petition I can sign? I have totally had the exact same thing happen to me...

Shannon said...

I am laughing WITH you, not AT you.

Debbie said...

That same thing happened to my daughter once. Fortunately I was there to get her out of the thing!
Dropped by from SITS.

Christina said...

'Having found a cute tank top and a sports bra (that claimed to be my size'....That's all it took. I was already laughing at this point.

Now, I have to admit I actually had to CUT an article of clothing off once. I wasn't at the store, it was a top I already owned. It seemed to go on fine, but then super glued itself to my body once there. Apparently, I put on a few pound since I wore it last... or maybe it finally shrunk after that 12th washing!

Carrie said...

BWA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA I wish I would have been there! That's SO funny!!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I'm not sure the people who work at Target would be very helpful even if there WAS a "help" button. Ya know??

Just came from there and so wanted to punch my cashier's face in. And it wasn't that time of the month either!!

Organic Meatbag said...

Hahaha... so funny! I mean, yeah, that must have sucked at the time, but you have to laugh now, right?! And also, please let me know where guys are going to indiscriminately try on jock straps so that I can stay the hell away from such a place...