Quite Appropriate for Friday the 13th

I have a doctors appointment today. But not just any doctors appointment - it's my yearly "lady bidness" appointment.

On Friday the 13th.

Yep, seems about right to me.

I haven't quite decided which is worse - the humiliation of the "crotch-to-face" position or the tearing of the paper when they make you scoot down. Oh you know how it goes...you are lying bared-assed in a lovely, not so flattering, hospital gown on a paper lined cot and your gyno says "Scoot down."

"A little more."

"Just a little more."

"Almost there."

RRIIIIPP

"Okay that's good."

Apparently the paper tear signals when you in just the right "crotch-to-face" position. ~sigh~

Next week's post: The eye doctor & tales of dilation.

Damn getting old sucks.

**Okay so tell me am I the only one that wears socks during the gyno check? I just think it's rude to have my bare feet in her face. Oxymoron perhaps?!

Big girls who cry-yi-yi...

what is the last thing you cried about?

This one is going to be hard to narrow down for me because I'm an emotional wreck some days.

I cry at songs...like "Fancy" by Reba McEntire, which is about a mother's dying wish for her daughter to prostitute. {"...And criticize Mama for turning me out..."}

At TV shows...such as Undercover Boss when they gave that 17 year old a $5000 scholarship.

At commercials...for example, the sad puppy one where Sarah McLachlan is playing in the background. Breaks my heart. Every. Time.

At movies...'The Notebook' anyone?

I cry when I'm sad. Or mad. Or frustrated.

My hormones are making me a leaky mess in my old age. And I don't like it one bit.

Maybe I'll have a good cry over it.

"You're too pretty for that..."

"You're too pretty for that..." said S to me a couple days ago. "That" being the dozen self-inflicted red marks on my face.

I'm a picker. A face picker. Truthfully I'm an anything picker meaning that I will scratch or squeeze any non-smooth surface. Scabs, pimples, dry skin-whatever.

You name it, I will pick at it.

It's a bad habit. An unconscious one that I typically do while on the phone, driving or watching tv.

I've tried to stop doing it. Obviously it's not very attractive (read: S's comment to me) and it just makes the situation that much worse. A small pimple ends up being a big red, splotchy, sometimes bleeding spot on my face.

Who does that?

Me. I do that. All. The. Time.

The only solution that I can think of is to rid myself of the places that make me pick, ie I need to get a handle on this adult acne. Oh yes, I have adult acne and it's irritating as hell.

My face breaks out now worse than it ever did while I was in high school and it gets worse with each hormone-rampant year. The Yaz helped for a while but now I notice the breakouts coming back. With a vengeance.

A few years ago I went to a dermatologist who tried to put me on Accutane. ACCUTANE people. This stuff is bad news and even before I did the research I knew that any acne medication that required a pregnancy test before it could be filled would do more bad than good for my body.

I've tried all sorts of over the counter meds/creams/cleansers that obviously don't help. I've even tried things like tea tree oil and castor oil based on some "natural remedies" website that I found.

I know that not everything is going to work for everyone but I need some help in narrowing this down and finding something that is truly going to work. I'm at the point where I need to worry not only about pimples, but also wrinkles. Ugh.

So what is your skin care routine? Have you found anything to be effective in treating your breakouts that you would recommend? Should I try Pro-Active? Or should I try another doctor that doesn't have a death wish for me?

I'm willing to try anything to get control of this. Because to put it simply I'm too old (& pretty) for that.

**Don't forget about my Keurig giveaway. Go to Craving Savings to enter now!

Even though...

Even though you forgot to set your alarm last night and got up late...

Even though you don't like tomatoes...

Even though you won't wash my car...

Even though I got sunburnt watching you on Saturday...

Even though you eat all the mac & cheese...EVERYTIME...

Even though you never shut the shower curtain...

Even though you don't shave like you should...

Even though you call me "loser" everyday...

Even though you park closer to the house than I do...

Even though you drive me crazy sometimes...

Your Dad & I are still super proud of you.
Happy 18th Birthday!

(Don't forget rent is due on the 1st of every month.)

*What will I call him now that he's an adult. Ex-teen? Adult-child? He-who-lives-in-my-house-and-eats-much?

From Halloweens past...

Last year I showed you this boo-tiful picture from a past Halloween.



You can read the entire story of how I was ROBBED during a desk decorating/costume contest HERE.

Not to be outdone this year, I have dug up a past year book from MIDDLE SCHOOL and scanned another ghoulish picture from a Halloween past.



This flashback is from 7th grade, circa October 1988. OMGosh! I know it's hard to imagine someone as cool as me being that old but it's true. Sad but true.

Obviously I was a sassy witch with strange wingie things on my cheeks. Hmmm. What can I say? The makeup seemed like a good idea at the time.

As for this year this cartoon has inspired me and with my hormones right now it seems like THE perfect fit.



Happy Halloween ya'll!

"I broke my femur"

"Damn! I broke my &^%@$*^^ femur."

That was my first thought this morning as I slammed my arm into a dresser corner. Pain vibrated through my arm & up my shoulder.

Gah! It hurt like HELL.

That might explain why I thought "femur" when in fact that is part of your leg, not your arm. The pain was so excruciating that it affected my brain & made me forget my anatomy lessons.

Google has since informed me that it was my "radius" that I wrecked havoc on this morning with my clumsiness. Thank goodness for Google.

I have turned into a clumsy oaf in my old age. Stray bruises are pretty common & I'm always banging my toes into something. Table legs, chests, cabinets, chairs - I don't discriminate when it comes to toe banging.

It's got to be pretty bad when S suggests that you stop wearing open toe shoes because he fears for your toes safety.

Poor, poor toes. I feel bad for them, I really do, but I'm not giving up my flip flops. They (& S) can forget it.

As Renoir said, “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”

Of course Renoir probably never waxed his cha-cha, plucked his eyebrows, wore Lycra or hit his toe so hard that it messed up a fresh pedicure, so he might not be the best authority on the subject.

But don't expect me to start wearing steel toe boots anytime soon. Although you might catch me sporting these...



Attractive huh?

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
For nine days straight I had nothing but milk & water. Then yesterday I gave in and had a cup of coffee with Southern Butter Pecan creamer -YUM! It's not restricted on FBD as long as you count the calories.

2. Take vitamins everyday.
Can you believe that I forgot to take them on Tuesday?! For no reason then I'm an forgetful idiot.

3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
Happy to say that we went to the park & played tennis last night. I worked up a nasty sweat but had a great time doing it.

4. Continue FBD's 28-day plan.
See below

OMGosh! So far the FBD has been great! Here are the basics of the plan...

*3 meals & 1 snack @ 400 calories each
*Include a MUFA (monounsaturated fat) with every one (this is included in the 400 calories)
*MUFA's include nuts, olive oil, peanut butter, dark chocolate or semi-sweet chips, avocados, olives, etc.

In order to stick within those guidelines I plan my "menu" the night before and pack anything I'll need at work. Some of the things I've had this past week:

*Brownies w/ walnuts (FBD recipe)
*Dark chocolate chips
*Banana pancakes w/ walnut honey syrup (FBD recipe)
*Wendy's chili

This morning I had two corn tortillas filled with egg, cheese, guacamole and black bean salsa. This is MY kind of diet!

I'm not saying it's perfect though. There are some things on the MUFA list that I'm not in love with such as avocados or black olives so I'm limited to which foods I eat. For example when I had the Wendy's chili, I just had to eat 10 green olives with it. They don't necessarily go together but in order to fit in my MUFA that's what I did.

The other thing that I'm not crazy about is the "out to eat" suggestions in the book. They only list fast food options but S & I like to go out to dinner on the weekends and we normally stay away from fast food.

Basically I'll just have to pre-plan like crazy and decide what I'll have before we go, adjust portions accordingly & take a MUFA with me just in case. It's easy enough to pack a few sunflower seeds or almonds so it won't be the end of the world.

Weight wise I've lost another 2 pounds (as of this morning; I weigh myself entirely too much so I know it fluctuates day to day) & another inch on my waist/muffin top.

So this week my goals are:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Continue FBD's 28-day plan.

How did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. Did it!
2. Take vitamins everyday. Did it!
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week. Sorta.
4. Start the 4 day jump start on Monday. DID IT!

Let's talk a little about the FBD 4 day jumpstart...

Part of it is drinking "Sassy Water". If you are going to try this diet DO NOT TRY this water. It sucked major ass. MAJOR.

I bought everything that was called for (mint leaves, cucumbers, lemons & ginger) made it up & then ended up throwing it out after one glass. Since then I've been drinking 2 liters of water everyday PLAIN or with lemon, but certainly NOT sassy.

Ewww.

The other bad things (for me) was eating a pint of tomatoes. I got about halfway through and thought I would hurl, so yesterday I ate till I was full instead of forcing myself to eat the whole pint. That worked so much better for me.

Other than those small issues, I didn't like the blandness of the food. BUT I know it was part of the jumpstart and not true of the other foods/recipes on the Flat Belly Diet. If you are like me & used to salt/pepper then make sure you pick up a bottle of Mrs. Dash. It was a lifesaver!

Today is my last day of the jumpstart and I'm proud to say that I did not cheat. Even with all my hormonal issues this week, I resisted temptation. It was tough to watch the guys eat cheeseburgers & taco salads while I had a HALF** a piece of chicken w/ rice & green beans, sans butter, salt or pepper.

**Yes, I said HALF. A serving size of protein should be 3 ounces, while a typical chicken breast is 6-7 ounces. Crazy huh.

Even crazier is that I was full after eating each meal. That just goes to show you that I was overeating like MAD.

Three days into the FBD and I've lost about 2 pounds & 1/2 inch @ the boobs, the hips & the muffin top. Not too shabby for three days of effort and NO extra exercise.

So this week my goals are:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Continue FBD's 28-day plan.

How did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

The Trifecta...

**Warning: There will be some discussion of female bizness. If you think this will cause your eyes to bleed, much like the crying vamps on True Blood, then stop reading now. However, if you stop reading right now you are still obligated to leave me a comment about how much you love me.**

I'm feeling a little bit better today. Yesterday I had the trifecta of badness...and I'm not talking about three loser horses.

A little back story...

I started taking Yaz in May to help with my PMDD & all the other bad things that happen during your period. My doc had given me a two month supply along with my Rx so I didn't have it filled at a pharmacy until last month.

It was there the pharmacist told me this particular medicine needed pre-approval. Blah, blah, blah - basically my doc had to sign off that I was taking this because it was medically necessary and not because I just didn't want to have babies. Cause there are a million other cheaper b.c.'s out there & my insurance company is a bunch of cheap bastards.

Since Yaz is a brand name drug with no generic it's expensive even with insurance, so to save myself some dinero, I decided to utilize the mail order program that's available through my provider.

That explains why I took my last pill on Sunday without any new pack to start. And my period started.

Yesterday, I was on my period (1), without any pills to stop it (2) AND I was on day 2 of the Flat Belly Diet Jumpstart (3).

The true trifecta of badness.

No pills Monday & Tuesday morning meant that it was the heaviest flow I've had since May and I really didn't know when my pills would show up.

The mail order company has a website but it's impossible to navigate & their employees wouldn't give me an exact delivery date. Plus the FBD jumpstart is 4 days of the bland ass food, no caffeine & 2 liters of water a day.

Seriously NOT what my hormones were hollering for yesterday.

Thankfully the pills were waiting for me when I got home yesterday. Otherwise I would have been elbow deep in chocolate cake & washing it down with a sweet tea...

...dang that sounds good.


Remember...it's your last chance to bid; Kori's auction ends tonight!

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Even though I didn't meet all my goals this week, I'm trying to stay positive. You remember all that baking I did on Sunday? Well I ended up gifting the cobbler & 99% of the pineapple zucchini cake. I only had one piece to try it, then the rest went with S to work.

It was a good idea to send them on their way...

Goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. Did it!
2. Take vitamins everyday. Did it!
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week. Not so much...
4. Finish reading the Flat Belly Diet. Did it!
5. Possibly start the 4 day jump start. If not start tracking calories. Still working on this one...

I made a grocery list to do the 4 day jump start but I haven't' been to the store yet. While making the list, I had to make some adjustments to the original menu because I don't eat tuna or mushrooms. (It looks like I'll be eating a lot of turkey and chicken that week.)

Initially I thought it would be easier to do over the weekend, but the more I think about it eating two meals at work and then only having to do dinner with the boys would probably work better.

So that means Monday is the BIG day. Wish me luck!

Goals this week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Start the 4 day jump start on Monday.

How did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

While typing the title of this post, I wondered to myself if it was all a lie. I certainly haven't "trimmed any fat" since I've been participating in TTFT and it hasn't motivated me to exercise any more than normal.

Normal being very, very little.

That being said I have found myself ordering water (with lemon) everywhere, and yesterday I resisted the temptation to stop for a McD's sweet tea. Now THAT was hard...sweet tea is like my crack.

I knew that I hadn't gotten in enough water for the day and that if I bought the tea I wouldn't drink anymore. So even though the fat is still hanging out I have made some positive changes. Drinking water & taking my vitamins has become second nature to me.

And I figured out why I'm so hungry when I get home. After tracking what I eat for breakfast & lunch at work I could see that I was lacking protein. Typically I eat cereal for breakfast and leftovers or a salad for lunch. Snacks were fruit, sugar free pudding or fiber one bars. So very little or no protein.

To fix this I've tried eating peanut butter in the mornings and cheese in the afternoon & I think it's working.

Also per Angie's (& her doctors) recommendation I picked up the Flat Belly Diet from the library. I just started reading it but I'm considering trying it out. The only downsides so far is that most of the food listed is brand name, which means I will have to seek out alternatives that are similar in nutritional content. That equals to "pain in my ass" and "expensive".

Of course if losing weight were easy then we would not have an obesity epidemic in this country and I wouldn't be whining about any of the above.

~sigh~

Goals this week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Finish reading the Flat Belly Diet.
5. Possibly start the 4 day jump start. If not start tracking calories.

It's time to start looking at what I'm eating and adjusting my portion sizes. If the FBD doesn't seem the way to go for me, then I will just keep a calorie count of what I'm eating.

So how did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

Photos, fuschia & flaunting

It's a rare occurrence that I like a picture of myself. Despite my multiple attempts at self-photography, they just don't turn out well.

And then out of the blue I find one that doesn't make me want to hurl...


This picture took on a whole new persona in black & white that I just couldn't believe. Dare I say that I actually liked it.

But I would be remiss if I didn't post the original since I had a legitimate reason for taking a picture of myself last night.


Proudly rocking the fuchsia and flaunting (yet again) that I never act my age.

Take that you whippersnapper biatches!

My first senior moment

Let me apologize in advance for my absence today but I'll be doing the "parent thang" this morning & taking the teen for his senior pictures.

We are NOT taking this outfit.


I'd say this is the first of many tasks ahead of us this school year. Senior pictures, college choices, scholarship applications, auditions, etc., etc., etc.

It's exciting and sad all at the same time. Exciting to know this time next year he will be headed to college and sad for us because he'll be headed to college.

I just pray that my meds keep on working & that I have the patience to deal with all of it.

~sigh~

This parenting gig ain't for lightweights.

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Welcome to another TTFT where I didn't meet my goals!

Blah.

This is what I had planned on doing this past week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
A lot of water was consumed this week- everyday in fact. But I know that it wasn't 4 glasses everyday. Blah.

2. Buy NEW vitamins.
I DID buy some new vitamins. They still suck ass, but not nearly as much as the others. They are smaller than my original multivitamins & I don't have to chew them so I'm trying to suck it up and just do it.

3. Take vitamins everyday.
Did & done.

4. Do 20 minutes of exercise 3-4 days a week.
Um, here is where my miserable FAIL comes in. I don't have any excuses...I just simply don't enjoy exercise. I might have even been lazier this past week then normal.

I have to find something to motivate me to get off my butt. It's stupid & frustrating because I know I need to do it, but the "doing" it part is not appealing.

Blah.

Goals this week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 3-4 days a week.
4. Start tracking what I'm eating.

I'm keeping the top 3 & I have a feeling it will always be on my list. As for #4, it's time to take a look at what I'm eating. I'm not going to count calories this week, but I want to see when I'm eating.

By the time I get home in the evenings I'm starving & that means I overeat at dinner time. Not something I want to do so I've got to work that out somehow.

So how did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

"Trim the Fat" Tuesday

Last week I decided to keep the same goals as the week before. Here's how I did with them the second time around:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. DID IT! Even this weekend I made sure to get my water in...WOOHOO!
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY. DID IT! I almost forgot yesterday but remembered right before I fell asleep.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times. FAIL. I worked out once with Denise Austin, which was okay. She's a bit too perky for me so after I get the workout down I'm thinking of muting her.

I will add that on Saturday we walked the length of two malls, a flea market and a grocery store so while I'm not counting that as a "workout" it was more walking then I've done in a long time.

I'm not going to make any excuses. It's something that I definitely need to continue working towards.

Next week's goals:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.

I'm keeping the first two so that I continue to make the right decisions everyday. I haven't included exercise in my list of goals because I'm off from work and will be spending time with my friends. I know that some our activities will involve a fair amount of walking so I'm not too worried about scheduling time to make it happen.

So how did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Last week I discussed my lack of motivation when it comes to exercising and eating right. I put myself out there and announced my goals hoping that it would help to move me in the right direction.

Eh...maybe not so much.

My goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times.

The reality:

1. While I did drink water everyday, I only managed to meet my goal of 4 glasses on two days. Blah. I tried carrying water with me all the time & I cut back on the diet sodas, but that didn't seem to help. I'm just not a big drinker period - another problem in itself.

2. I did take my vitamins everyday, except for Saturday & Sunday. Apparently everything falls through on the weekends including this.

3. This was a complete FAIL. I only worked out once. One single time, when I thought I would die and subsequently went to bed at 9-ish.

Ugh. That was not a good attempt at meeting my goals at all. I admit it and I'm not going to make excuses for it. I suck.

I will not dwell on the bad though. This is a new week & I will work on the these goals for the next 7 days:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times.

Yep, they are the exact same because I am determined to tackle these before moving on.

Persistence will pay off. Right?

"Lettuce" Shred

A couple weeks ago all I could talk about was Jillian Michaels and her torture exercise DVD - The 30 Day Shred. She was thoroughly kicking my tail each night.

Notice I said was.

After that week I took a break from it. That break has turned into an extended vacation. Now I would say it's more like a permanent separation.

But I don't want it to be.

My follow through with things that I really don't want to do - dieting, exercise, taking vitamins, cleaning - is awful. AWFUL. When it comes to these dreaded tasks my determination starts out strong but then comes to a screeching halt.

S recognizes this lacking quality in me. Sometimes he just makes a friendly comment...

"What happened to the diet?" as I greedily shovel Häagen-Dazs in my mouth.
"Shut up." I reply in between bites.

Other times he gives me a little push in the right direction. Like helping me look for sports bras in Walmart.

We found a three pack for 10 bucks that work pretty good when I wear two at a time. I only know this because I tried them on at home and did a test jumping jack. I have not actually wore them during a workout, and they mock me for it daily.

I know he only has my best interest at heart, and that he is just trying to support me in goals that I WANT to obtain. But that doesn't stop me from being a b*tch about it when he's "encouraging" me.

Truth is, it's not him I'm mad at. I'm mad at myself.

I hate that my motivation fizzles and that I end up quitting. I hate that my follow through is worthless. I hate that I fail myself every time I stop doing things to improve myself.

I don't know why I feel defeated before I even start. I don't understand why I have to work at it so hard and it comes natural to other people.

I've been following Angie's "Trim the Fat" Thursdays and I've decided to follow her example. Every week she lists her goals for the upcoming week. The best part is that she updates the following week, being very honest about how she did.

I think (or at least I hope) that trying this will hold me accountable. And that I will make obtainable goals.

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. (I know it should be more, but I need a workable starting point.)
2. Take vitamins EVERYDAY.
3. Work out with Jillian 3-4 times.

So there is what I hope to accomplish this week.

Wish me luck! (Advice welcome!)

Enemy Number One

There's this lady.

Who is too pushy.

She smiles and talks nice, but really she's out to get me.

I just know it. And I would totally kick her butt.

Except that it hurts to lift my leg...

I hate really, really dislike this lady.



Jillian Michael's is evil.

Shannon warned me. Did I listen? NO!

I started that DVD with high hopes and rose colored glasses. Let me tell you, it was about 30 seconds into the WARM UP that I started to think I might die.

Jillian says that you can take a break, but no more than 5 seconds. Apparently she doesn't understand that I need OXYGEN to live and it requires more than 5 seconds to recuperate from parts of her torture.

Another thing that I discovered- my boobs weren't designed for exercise. At one point I was pretty sure that if the lack of oxygen didn't kill me, that my boobs were going to put me into a coma.

Anyone know where I can find a ginormous sports bra?

Or an oxygen tank?

...Not Going Softly...

It started with one or two and then much like Gremlins when they are wet, they multiplied. For some mysterious reason they took up residence right in the front of my hair. It's pretty obvious (to me at least) whenever I pull my hair back that I have gray hair.

I have colored my hair every few months just to cover the gray, choosing to use a semi-permanent color close to my natural shade because I wasn't trying to rock the boat, just get rid of the Gray Gremlins.

The combination of the GG's, the fact that I will be 33 next month (THIRTY THREE people...I was just 24 yesterday right?!?!) and the winter blahs compelled me to take a more aggressive approach to these pesky intruders.

Let me demonstrate. I started with this:

Do you see it? The gray streak right in front?

Well I decided to fight fire with fire. I laughed in their face when I did this.



I took those ugly, aging grays and made them lighter, blonder with a bit more edge.

I might have to grow old but I don't have to go softly.

I Dare You To Call This Wimpy

It's official. Mother Nature has gone crazy. Yesterday I only worked half a day and when I left the house it was a warm, beautiful 60 degrees outside. If you follow me - Do you follow me? - then you saw my updates yesterday about what a gorgeous day it was.

Then it all went to hell in a hand basket.

1 PM = Bright, sunny, 60 degrees
4 PM = Cloudy, breezy, 46 degrees
6 PM = Dark, raining, 38 degrees
6:30 PM = Snowing, 31 degrees

It went from beautiful spring-like weather to snow within a matter of hours. By the time we got home our front yard was covered.

In true blogger fashion here are the pictures...












...Proving that Mother Nature has mood swings just like the rest of us ladies.

Or maybe I'm the only one that cries about a beauty shop burning down that is 45 minutes away just because I feel bad for the owner. Not because I've ever been there or know them personally. Cause I haven't and I don't.

~sigh~ Aren't hormones great?