Friday, July 25, 2008

And then the fight started...

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....
**********************************************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station.....

And then the fight started....
************************************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....
***********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked,' Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************************************

Just a few jokes in honor of Friday!!!

5 comments:

devilish southern belle said...

Those made me laugh! Especially the one about the dwarf! Just followed you in from Twitter.

Insane Mama said...

I followed you in from twitter also. I like the social security one!

Pj.steph said...

I read the first 2 to my family. (Little kids) SO funny! Thanks. I think I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, but I am now cured.

Veggie Mom said...

BTW, please drop by soon and join our effort to get Uncle Lynn and Pop'rs on Oprah! We're doing an e-mail campaign as part of our Great Pop'rs Giveaway, and you can help! Uncle Lynn and Pop'rs on Oprah? I have my fingers crossed...

Crazy Momma said...

Love these!