I'm in total denial...

I cannot believe that Christmas is only 11 days away. Eleven. Days. You would think a certain someone who let Thanksgiving sneak up on her would be more prepared for the next holiday. Apparently not.

There's still shopping that needs to be done, treats to be made, cards to be mailed*, and presents to be wrapped. Lots and lots...and lots of presents to be wrapped.

I *finally* get our tree decorated this past weekend so I can scratch that off the list. (Please excuse the quality since it's from my cell. Add taking pics to the to-do list above.)



Have I mentioned that Christmas is only 11 days away?!

*Christmas cards did not make the cut this year. Thinking maybe I should start now on next years to ensure they make it in the mail. Ya think 375 days is enough time for a procrastinator like me?

Have you ever wondered...?

...how Ke$sha got a recording contract? Her lyrics are awful and the auto tone is apparent.

...why people slow down once they see a police officer or state trooper on the interstate? If you can see them it's too late dumb-dumb.

...if Elvis/Tupac/Michael Jackson are really dead? They sure make good tunes in their afterlife.

...what Tony Parker was thinking when he cheated on Eva Longoria? Dude, she's hot.

...if they will just ban fat people from McDonald's? It's all downhill after the Happy Meal toy law.

...why anyone would get a tattoo on their face? Two words: Mike Tyson.

...how The Event has not been cancelled yet? That show blows.

...when Lindsay Lohan's dad will shut the eff up? No worries he'll hold a press conference to let you know.

...what you're having for Thanksgiving dinner? Oh wait, that's just me...I want to know your plans. :)

Cell Transportation

Sometimes I get funny looks when I pull out my...cell.

You see I've tried just about everything to transport my communication gizmo and nothing really appeals to me. Cases are too big & bulky. Keeping it in my purse is not an option. Fuggedaboutit. I'd never find it again.

I have resorted to carrying in my bra.

As long as I don't have on a t-shirt then it's easily accessible to me. I always know where it is and I can feel it vibrate.* While I can understand some of the weird looks it brings I haven't found a viable alternative yet.

Maybe ya'll could save me an awkward situation or two - where or how do you carry your phone?

Hey at least I'm not doing this:



*The vibrating has nothing to do with it's placement (pervs!)...I simply don't like loud annoying ringtones.

Have You Seen This Girl?

Sometimes I joke about being crazy. Everyone must seem that way at one time or another right?! But the last two days has proved I'm as cracked as Humpty Dumpty.

Cracked. Crazy. Cuckoo. Insane. Mad. Touched.

Emotionally I've been a complete mess. A blubbering, teary mess. Over nothing. In the last 48 hours tears have sprung forward about all kinds of trivial shit. Things that normally wouldn't get a second thought have turned me all kinds of melancholy.

I'm not that girl. I'm NOT.

Or at least I wasn't. ~sigh~

How do I find ME again? That's the question...

Autumn's Patchwork Quilt

As the leaves begin to change, I can see the beauty of the season from my kitchen bar stools.

And it's beautiful.

Glee goes GQ...and it's alright with me

It's this cover (and inside spread*) that is causing a bit of ruckus this morning. Parents in an uproar over these very sexxy pictures in the upcoming issue of GQ. I agree they are very sexxy, but these Glee stars are ADULTS. Consenting ADULTS. In an ADULT magazine.

Let's face it Glee the show was not meant for kids. Yes it portrays high school singing but it also has risky conversation and sex scenes including a girl on girl make out session last week. Definitely not kid friendly material in my opinion.

Besides the fact that GQ is a MEN's magazine. Men as in ADULT males. It's not in Nickelodeon's November edition so what's the problem?

Here's my very unpolitically correct advice: take the stick outta your butt and realize that if your kids want to view nekkid booties online they will. And it will be oh so much worse then what this photo is showing. Realize that you as a parent should be the one deciding what your kids watch and/or read, not Fox, not GQ - YOU. If you deem your child old enough to watch Glee (hey no judgement here) also be prepared for some ADULT sex-ed talk.

*Sorry I couldn't resist. Get it...spread.

**All words spelled incorrectly are totally on purpose as to keep as many spammers away as possible.

Table Topics Tuesday: "Here fishy, fishy..."

do you possess any of the qualities of your zodiac sign?

I'd like to believe that I posses some of the good stuff - wise, kind & caring, multi-talented - but there are some traits that I would never use to describe myself like ultra popular. Ugh. It just sounds pretentious just saying it - ULTRA popular.

There are a few "bad" traits of being a Pisces that I identify with too. Such as over-emotional, overly-sensitive, temperamental...all of which I blame my hormones for. But then I've never considered myself secretive, easily seduced or gullible. If anything I'm a little less than trusting til I get to know someone.

After reading more about what being a Pisces is supposed to be about I don't think I possess many of the qualities of this fishy zodiac sign. I don't "withdraw into a dream world" or "worry about failing in a crisis".* In fact I seem to flourish under pressure, which is good since I'm also a HUGE procrastinator.

Besides wouldn't a good Pisces know how to swim well? Um yeah not me. At. All.

Now it's your turn: do you possess any of the qualities of your zodiac sign?

*Quotes provided by this site.

Tales of a Homebody

It wasn't always this way. In fact this time last year I would have been swamped with football games, Saturday competitions and lots of good old fashioned fundraising. But now the teen has become an adult (scary huh?) and there are no more high school activities.

Combine that with a football crazy husband who insists on playing and/or watching that horrid sport all weekend and that leaves me without much to do. Or should I say without much that I'd like to do.*

I'm not the type to go to the movies solo and most of my friends have young children so we don't get together much. Plus we started using a budget in August so I don't have a ton of extra money to blow anyway.**

As you can see I have been forced into a "homebody" status the last few months leaving me couch-side watching lots of tv and cruising the internet for beach bags. Relief might be on the horizon though...

Our dart tournament started last night and while we play on Thursday nights, maybe it's just the kick in the butt I need to get off the couch and start living again. Truthfully I wasn't looking forward to it but after we got there, put some coins in the jukebox and started playing it was exhilarating.***

We lost (by one game) but it didn't matter because we were having a good time. Together. With friends. As it was meant to be.

*There is always something to clean but who wants to do that on the weekends? Not me.

**Budgets suck.

***Exhilarating except for the cloud of cigarette smoke. {cough, cough, gag}

Twitter-sations

The following tweets earlier this week:





Resulted in this question:



And this response:



Some things just aren't as they seem and Twitter is FULL of TMI.

Happy Friday ya'll!

We're Talking TV Ovah Here

The new fall tv season has begun. That means my DVR is my bff right now while all my books sit on the console tables neglected. We have even talked about getting a second DVR unit so that we can record more than two programs at once.* Sad but true.

The thing is that I don't know if I like a show until I've seen it. Obviously. And with so many debuting in the last couple weeks it's been a tough job to narrow it down. While we are still working on it here are a few new favorites:

Blue Bloods-Drama about a family of cops starring my favorite NKOTB fellow & (still sexy) Tom Selleck



Lone Star-A con artist trying to juggle a wife, a girlfriend and his loser Dad



Chase-About a Marshall with dysfunctional upbringing that relates to the criminals she's chasing



Hellcats-College girl joins cheer squad for scholarship money (Why yes I do have 14 year old tastes)



Not to mention my returning shows: Gossip Girl, Sons of Anarchy, The Mentalist, The Good Wife, Survivor, The Real Housewives of Atlanta** and many, many, many more. It's a wonder I get anything done at home.***

What are your new favorites? I'd hate to think I was missing out on some quality tv.

*Ain't happening. Our cable bill is already ridiculous.

**Really looking forward to the Atlanta women after a very lack-luster DC season. Blah.

***Thankfully we have 6 televisions including one in the kitchen.

Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.*

Autumn officially starts today at 11:09 PM EST. I guess Mother Nature didn't get the memo though since it's supposed to be 89 degrees today and 94 tomorrow. I put my door thinga-ma-jig up over the weekend but she didn't get that hint either.



No surprise that part of my enthusiam for this season is directly related to food; I already have several soup & stew recipes ready for when the temperatures drop. I've been dreaming for weeks of baking. And apples. And pumpkins. And Starbucks salted caramel hot chocolate. And...well you get the point.

Are you looking forward to Fall? What's your favorite part of this season?

*Quote by William Cullen Bryant

The Real Housewife of...

what reality TV game show would you most like to be a contestant on?

I'm a reality tv fanatic. Everything from Survivor to Top Chef to Jersey Couture to Flipping Out. And while I LOVE watching these shows I would never want to be on Survivor (hello, they sleep with bugs), The Amazing Race (heights & I don't mix) or Top Chef (some of those dishes sound less than edible) but...

I would LOVE to be part of The Real Housewives series. Either on one of their shows, particularly NJ, Atlanta or even NY, or starring in my own series - The Real Housewives of B-Tot.* As the house wife of T-Ville* you could follow me around as I work, shop, make dinner, blog, read or resolve disputes over a missing biscuit. (True story.)

I'm sure it would be "Must See TV"...or maybe not but it would still be fun to try it! Provided that they cleaned my house before each taping of course.

Now it's your turn:
what reality TV game show would you most like to be a contestant on?

*Some of the location names have been altered for the safety of the cast.

More Cheesy Goodness

I know I just posted a recipe for Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes but I just can't resist sharing this recipe too.*

Recently I stumbled across a site by the name of Southern Plate and then proceeded to spend hours reading through the recipes & family antedotes. Warning: If you are trying to lose weight do NOT go to this blog. It is full of comfort food. Down home, simple, delicious, comfort food like the Cheesy Chicken & Corn Casserole I made last night.

Oh my.

Everything you need should already be in your kitchen because again these are simple recipes. Not like that crazy stuff that Top Chef contestants** come up with, but real food that real people (like me) can make and enjoy.



You'll need:

1 box/packet of saffron rice (or Zatarain's as SP uses)
1 1/2 - 2 cups cooked chicken, diced/shredded
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can corn, drained
2 cups cheddar cheese
2 Tbsp butter (see note)

Cook rice according to directions. Reserving 1/2 cup of cheese, mix everything else together including the cooked rice. (That means only 1 1/2 cups goes in now for the directionally challenged.)



After it's well mixed, put the remaining cheese on top. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes or until everything is nice and bubbly.



Note:
-SP's original recipe called for a WHOLE stick of butter. I thought uh, no, and used 1/2 stick. Even that could be cut back without affecting the recipe I think. Next time I may even omit the butter all together.

-You'll notice that I just mixed everything up in my casserole dish. I mean why dirty a bowl for nothing right?

-As displayed by the previous statement I am lazy so I typically cook & freeze chopped chicken and ground hamburger. That way I only make one mess but I have cooked meat ready for me whenever I need it. Obviously if you don't do that you will have the extra step of cooking and chopping your chicken.



It may not be the prettiest dish to hit our plates but this casserole was delicious. I see lots of Cheesy Chicken & Corn Casseroles in my future!


*I swear we eat food that is not covered with cheese. Sometimes.

**I love watching Top Chef but know that I will never, ever make one darn thing they do on there.

***I'm not a brand name whore as that picture implies. I buy whatever is cheapest.

Table Topics Tuesday: Hotties

who is in your Top 5?

I'm SO glad that Shannon has started TTT again...and with such a lively topic to kick it off. Ooh la la.

Let's get down to business shall we? Here are my top 5 in no particular order:

Leonardo Dicaprio- From the days of Stand By Me, I've wanted to stand by him. {rawr}



Matt Sanders, aka M. Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold- The list would not be complete without at least one rocker.



Jonathan Rhys Meyers- Okay so yes, I think this guy is a douche IRL (drunken rages much?!) but I don't want to converse with him if you know what I mean.



George Clooney- Like a fine wine he just gets better with age.



Ian Somerhalder- My God...those eyes...

Now it's your turn:
who is in your Top 5?

Scalloped Potatoes (aka Cheesy Layers of Goodness)

All summer I had been avoiding adding any unnecessary heat to the kitchen by using my crock pot, microwave, toaster oven, pressure cooker and of course the grill. The summer's unbearable heat was finally replaced with cooler temperatures when it rained last week. That meant I could pull out the dutch ovens and turn on the stove again.

Can you say happy?

Even though I've gotten quite creative with the toaster oven (meatloaf, muffins & chicken tenders respectively) I was dying for a real meal with something that had been baked low and slow to get the flavors just right. After a quick scan of the fridge & google I found the perfect side dish solution.

Scalloped Potatoes using PHILADELPHIA Chive & Onion Cream Cheese Spread.

To die for.

I omitted the bacon* and cut the recipe in half because hello it was only 4 of us eating dinner and we did not need 18 servings. Anyway, I put it all together and stuck it in oven. I *wish* I had taken a picture. The cheese was ooey, gooey right on top and the onions had literally melted into the potato layers while the Philly cream cheese gave it an oomph of flavor.

It was YUMMY good. So good in fact it's going to be the first thing I make next time the temps decide to dip back down.

*No bacon just because I was too lazy to fry any but I'm certain it would have been even more delicious with a little salty pork. Salty pork makes everything better right?

The Big (or maybe not so big) Announcement

I posted earlier in the summer about the teen's decision not to attend a four year university mainly due to cost. (You can catch up here.) Since that had been the plan all along he was at a crossroads about what to do instead & weighed his options with a lot of thought.

*****
I never really thought about it before now but what pressure to decide your future by the time you graduate. Hell, I'm 34 years young and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
*****

The only option that was not on the table was going straight to work. Working a dead end job for minimum wage is not something that we wanted for him. Obviously.

There is a very nice community college nearby that he could have attended for two years and then transferred to a four year university to finish his bachelors degree. That would have been a much more affordable option for us so we even offered to pay community college - no loans necessary & of course he would live at home. We'll call this Plan B.

Plan C was joining the Army. I know, I know. I was vehemently opposed to this option from the start because...well you can imagine why; however I was keeping an open mind.

So the teen embarked on a fact finding mission arranging a meeting with both the college counselor and the Army recruiter. His dad went with him to the recruiters office & they talked for hours. Literally. The teen decided to take the test that tells them which job he is better suited for.

During that week we did a lot of talking weighing the pros and cons of both options. The guys told me everything the recruiter had talked to them about including the GI Bill, aka when they pay for college. They talked about the Army band and the band on each post.

Then he took the placement test. And did really well. After the test he meets with the recruiter again and is offered a job at this time. I knew that. It's standard procedure and we all agreed it wouldn't hurt to listen and then take a few days to think it over.

In the meantime I thought he was still leaning towards community college. That meant being at home and being closer to his girlfriend. The only downside was he wouldn't be able to continue to play and study music while he was there.

The next week the teen and his dad went back to the recruiters office. Again they were there for hours. When the teen finally called me he said that S was on his way back to the office and would call me later. I asked about the meeting; the teen said he was offered the job he wanted and we would talk about it later.

S finally called me that afternoon and I immediately started in with the questions. Then he dropped the bomb - the teen had enlisted.

I FUH-REAKED out.*

I was under the impression it was a meeting and that we would discuss it before any decisions were made. Apparently the teen had a different view of it all and had been doing a lot of thinking on his own. After I calmed down a little S was able to tell me more details. I sighed (heavily) and said "well it's only for two years." To which S replied "He signed up for four years."

And I FUH-REAKED out. Again.*

So to summarize the teen has enlisted in the Army. For four years. And I'm dealing.

He doesn't actually leave until January so I'll have time to get used to the idea before he leaves.

And then I will FUH-REAK out. Again.

*FUH-REAK is putting it mildly. Very mildly. Very, very mildly.

Quite Appropriate for Friday the 13th

I have a doctors appointment today. But not just any doctors appointment - it's my yearly "lady bidness" appointment.

On Friday the 13th.

Yep, seems about right to me.

I haven't quite decided which is worse - the humiliation of the "crotch-to-face" position or the tearing of the paper when they make you scoot down. Oh you know how it goes...you are lying bared-assed in a lovely, not so flattering, hospital gown on a paper lined cot and your gyno says "Scoot down."

"A little more."

"Just a little more."

"Almost there."

RRIIIIPP

"Okay that's good."

Apparently the paper tear signals when you in just the right "crotch-to-face" position. ~sigh~

Next week's post: The eye doctor & tales of dilation.

Damn getting old sucks.

**Okay so tell me am I the only one that wears socks during the gyno check? I just think it's rude to have my bare feet in her face. Oxymoron perhaps?!