Friday, August 13, 2010

Quite Appropriate for Friday the 13th

I have a doctors appointment today. But not just any doctors appointment - it's my yearly "lady bidness" appointment.

On Friday the 13th.

Yep, seems about right to me.

I haven't quite decided which is worse - the humiliation of the "crotch-to-face" position or the tearing of the paper when they make you scoot down. Oh you know how it goes...you are lying bared-assed in a lovely, not so flattering, hospital gown on a paper lined cot and your gyno says "Scoot down."

"A little more."

"Just a little more."

"Almost there."

RRIIIIPP

"Okay that's good."

Apparently the paper tear signals when you in just the right "crotch-to-face" position. ~sigh~

Next week's post: The eye doctor & tales of dilation.

Damn getting old sucks.





**Okay so tell me am I the only one that wears socks during the gyno check? I just think it's rude to have my bare feet in her face. Oxymoron perhaps?!

11 comments:

Kristin said...

No socks for me but I can relate to the paper rip unfortunately.

Ellie (Phoenix-Lily) said...

I wear socks, that way I don't feel totally naked and at least some part of me remains warm while you wait forever in the paper ball gown to be seen.

Living It, Loving It said...

Wearing socks helps!

Heather said...

If it's summer, I just make sure I've had a recent pedi :)

Can't wait to hear all about the eye check!

Well, not really, I was just being polite...

Danielle said...

always always wear socks.. although at my gyno they put pot holders (the ones shaped like mittens) on the stirrups so that makes it cute.

I get crazy high blood pressure during those exams and then they don't want to give me my drugs! I hate that exam its always the worst... this is a situation where I'd like to know how to meditate better

CaraBee said...

I always wear socks. Its my sole claim to modesty when my hoo-haa's in the wind.

Shelley said...

I never really thought about why I wear socks.....yeah and the paper has to rip.

Carrie said...

Coming from an el-preggo, it's funny how you totally get used to having your cootch up in the air. By the time you give birth, you aren't even really thinking, "Wow! There are six-hundred and fifty people in this room staring right at my vajayjay!"

blueviolet said...

I hate the scoot. It's so incredibly awkward!

Veronica said...

I always hate that part of the visit too. That's why I try to sit on the very edge of the table to try to prevent that lol.

Oh and I too try and wear socks. The only time I didn't was when I was huge and pregnant in the dead heat of summer and just did not care haha!

Kathy said...

I wear socks because I think they stink slightly less than my bare feet.