Winning*

*Mike & Molly might just be the funniest show that no one is watching. And by "no one" I mean me.

*I had a sleepover with my 2 year old niece two weekends ago and will have my one this weekend with my 2 year old granddaughter. I'm calling it GNI = Girls Night In.

The cutest niece. Ever.

*In my absence I've been cooking up a storm. Recipes coming soon. You have been warned.

*Gas prices are pissing me off. Ugh.

*I don't really give a hoot about the royal wedding. Or The Bachelor. But I will be watching Dancing with the Stars because Wendy Williams is part of the new cast. How YOU doin'?

*Crest 3D White Vivid just might be the best toothpaste. Ever.

*Insurance companies suck. I don't want to take a generic version of my meds. Thankyouverymuch.

*The soldier threw live grenades last week. And loved it.

*Despite my title Charlie Sheen is so not winning. Although I think the warlock in his brain may be.

*The big three-five will be here tomorrow...

Glee goes GQ...and it's alright with me

It's this cover (and inside spread*) that is causing a bit of ruckus this morning. Parents in an uproar over these very sexxy pictures in the upcoming issue of GQ. I agree they are very sexxy, but these Glee stars are ADULTS. Consenting ADULTS. In an ADULT magazine.

Let's face it Glee the show was not meant for kids. Yes it portrays high school singing but it also has risky conversation and sex scenes including a girl on girl make out session last week. Definitely not kid friendly material in my opinion.

Besides the fact that GQ is a MEN's magazine. Men as in ADULT males. It's not in Nickelodeon's November edition so what's the problem?

Here's my very unpolitically correct advice: take the stick outta your butt and realize that if your kids want to view nekkid booties online they will. And it will be oh so much worse then what this photo is showing. Realize that you as a parent should be the one deciding what your kids watch and/or read, not Fox, not GQ - YOU. If you deem your child old enough to watch Glee (hey no judgement here) also be prepared for some ADULT sex-ed talk.

*Sorry I couldn't resist. Get it...spread.

**All words spelled incorrectly are totally on purpose as to keep as many spammers away as possible.

We're Talking TV Ovah Here

The new fall tv season has begun. That means my DVR is my bff right now while all my books sit on the console tables neglected. We have even talked about getting a second DVR unit so that we can record more than two programs at once.* Sad but true.

The thing is that I don't know if I like a show until I've seen it. Obviously. And with so many debuting in the last couple weeks it's been a tough job to narrow it down. While we are still working on it here are a few new favorites:

Blue Bloods-Drama about a family of cops starring my favorite NKOTB fellow & (still sexy) Tom Selleck



Lone Star-A con artist trying to juggle a wife, a girlfriend and his loser Dad



Chase-About a Marshall with dysfunctional upbringing that relates to the criminals she's chasing



Hellcats-College girl joins cheer squad for scholarship money (Why yes I do have 14 year old tastes)



Not to mention my returning shows: Gossip Girl, Sons of Anarchy, The Mentalist, The Good Wife, Survivor, The Real Housewives of Atlanta** and many, many, many more. It's a wonder I get anything done at home.***

What are your new favorites? I'd hate to think I was missing out on some quality tv.

*Ain't happening. Our cable bill is already ridiculous.

**Really looking forward to the Atlanta women after a very lack-luster DC season. Blah.

***Thankfully we have 6 televisions including one in the kitchen.

The Men of CW

Yesterday I banished the bah humbug attitude so I'm not going to be kvetching that it's only 16 days to Christmas, or that I didn't get much sleep last night, or talking about the tractor trailer that was blocking every lane of traffic last night while trying to make a U-turn.

Nope not going to do it. I will not step up on the soap box today. I'm giving my blood pressure a chance to stay low & my heart a break from racing so much.

Maybe.

You know I watch (and/or DVR) a lot of tv. Three days a week my tv is set to CW. That's where I find all my "teenage" shows, my weekly vampire fix and The Chuck Bass.

Let me show you the reasons why I heart CW:

Mondays begin with One Tree Hill & although there are a bevy of attractive ladies on this show, I've never been that impressed with their men. But I do enjoy Nathan Scott's character. He's an upstanding family man that I don't hate to see in his locker room scenes.



90210's characters were a little young for me when the show started. Thankfully they filled out the cast with Matt Lanter who plays bad boy Liam.



Then there's Colin Egglesfield whipping up dishes on Melrose Place. Unfortunately they have cut him from the cast (along with Ashley Simpson-Wentz) so I hope that the plot can keep me interested once he's gone.




The Salvatore brothers headline the Vampire Diaries on Thursday nights.* I can't deny that Paul Wesley is attractive as Stefan, the younger better behaved brother.



But it's Damon, the bad brother, that really grabs my attention. Ian Somerhalder's eyes are mesmerizing.



Sticking with the bad boy theme, I've saved the best for last. Gossip Girl is must see TV so if you are not watching you are totally missing out. All the cool kids are doing it!

It could be for Chace Crawford. He's a good looking guy but a bit too emo for me.



I much prefer the bad boy of the show - Chuck Bass. Ed Westwick is not your typical pretty boy but when he turns on the Bass Charm I just melt.



CW is how I've been filling my hawtie factor since True Blood ended their season. But truthfully I can't wait for Eric to show up on my screen again.



Who do you look forward to seeing on the small screen? I'd hate to think I'm missing out.

*If you've missed the Vampire Diaries and want to get in on the drama then tune in next week. CW is doing a week long marathon so that's 5 times the Salvatore brothers. Rawr.

**I just noticed that Eric is the only blonde. Guess I got a thing for dark hair. Unless they are tall sexy vampires.

Embarrassing Moments

We've all had them. Although most of us were lucky enough not to be on tv broadcasting to millions of people when we fell on our ass like Jennifer Lopez.

Poor JLo. Good thing she has all that bootay to ease her fall.

For those of you who didn't see the "fall seen round the world" here's the video. The deed is done around the 2:38 mark.



As I said we've all had those embarrassing moments that we wish we could erase.

Like when I was 13ish and had just got a smoking new pair of LA Gears. Don't act like you don't know! They were hype with two different color shoe strings, one plain and one glitter. I loved those shoes and was not above showing them off.

During this time hanging at the mall was our weekend activity. I'll never forget going up the escalator with my friend, eyeing a boy or two, when out of nowhere my shoe string got caught.

In the escalator.

And I could not for the life of me get it loose. Picture me trying to be cool but totally panicked that I could not get my shoe string free. My thoughts started to run rampant and all I could think of was that my FOOT was next.

My friend? All that biatch could do was laugh.

She was in tears from laughing so hard. And I was stuck.

Finally, one good yank and I was free. My poor shoe strings were mangled though. Totally shredded beyond belief.

I was completely humiliated and my rad shoes were ruined. At the time I thought it was the end of the world.

Little did I know one day I would be thankful.

Thankful that my taste in shoes would evolve. Thankful that cell phones that record were not around. Thankful that YouTube was not in existence.

And that's what I'll say when we go around the table on Turkey Day.

She is my guilty pleasure.

Yesterday I heard the most earth shattering news ever...Oprah is retiring. OMGosh! In...get this shizz...2011.

Whatev. Thanks for letting us know. Peace out biatch.

I've been over Oprah forEVAH. She's an obnoxious know-it-all who really thought her very presence could bring the Olympics to Chicago.

Again, I say whatev.

I'd rather have wig wearing Wendy Williams any day of the week. She is ghetto fabulous to the max. I think that's why I love her.

She talks about her fake hair, her fake boobies and her big feet. Wendy is not above poking fun at herself (as pointed out weekly by Joel McHale & The Soup), nor is she above poking at others just because they are celebs.

My favorite moments was when she asked Thomas Calabro about his hair and he admitted that he wears a hair piece. A furry yamaka I believe he called it. Hello?! Or earlier this week when she asked Morris Chestnut if all his teeth were his own teeth. And then demanded the camera go close up on his mouth.

Love, love, love that she called Jon & Kate out for being media whores and sent paper cutouts of their asses rolling away in a Barbie car. Along with the Kardashian sisters.

As Wendy would say, "How YOU doing?"

That's the official Wendy Show greeting. But you can't just say it any old way.



As long as Wendy is on TV I will never be bored. She is my newest guilty pleasure.

What's yours?

Dear True Blood

Dear Producers/Writers/Directors of True Blood,

I sincerely love True Blood.

In the second season I've *almost* forgotten all about the bad accents because the plot line is just THAT good. I wait all week for Sunday night's so that I can find out the next twist in Bon Temps.

Having said all that I'm pretty f'in pissed that we the show was only 46 minutes last night. Just imagine what could happen if the show managed to last the ENTIRE hour, as it is supposed to.

So in the future I expect a FULL 60 minutes of Sookie, Bill, Eric, Jason, Lafayette, Tara and all the other kookie sumbitches on that show. Ya' hear!

Your loyal & devoted fan,

Brandy ♥

P.S. Jason Stackhouse should be contractually obligated to go shirtless in every episode. Amen.

Ready for Fall...

The Fall TV season anyway.

Among my long list of favorites is...

Sons of Anarchy - (September 8 FX)



Gossip Girl - (September 14 CW)



Vampire Diaries - (September 10 CW)



The Good Wife - (September 22 CBS)



I might even check out the new Melrose Place - (September 8 CW)



Or Cougar Town - (September 23 ABC)



And definitely Glee - (September 9 Fox)



Because Glee's creator also brought me this little gem...

Nip/Tuck - (October TBA FX)



If you want to check out the Fall schedule (and see why NBC is so lacking in interesting shows) TV Guide has the preview.

Tell me, what shows are you looking forward to?

And the tribe has spoken...

Sure I've mentioned once or twice a dozen times that I'm a reality show addict. I even did this post citing on the lessons I've learned by watching these shows.

But my group of friends and I have taken reality TV to a whole different level. Not only do we watch, and guess who's going home or going to win, but we bet money on it.

We started doing this a million seasons ago with Survivor and now we do it with Big Brother too. Each player gets a Survivor (or BB) name for $10. All the money goes into a pool and if your Survivor wins then you get all the money. It's winner take all...and it definitely makes the show more interesting.

Last night we drew names and I got Jerry.

He's 49, from Rock Hill SC, and a Sgt. in the US Army. This means he looks good on paper (or online as that's where I found the info) but as I've come to realize you can never tell who's going to win.

Past winners included 10 men, 7 women, ranging in age from 22 to 58 so you can't automatically count out anyone since they all have the same shot at winning. Except I really think Jerry is going to pull it out this year...

...that's why I'm already shopping for my summer sandals that Survivor is going to make possible.

TV...A Constitutional Right?

So in all honesty they aren't seeking to add it to the Constitution but still what the hell is wrong with Congress?! First it was THEIR idea to have everything changed to digital and the initial deadline was set by them - February 17, 2009. Second, when the decision was made they provided a THREE YEAR time frame to get everything transitioned.

Now they have moved the date back. Now that all the TV stations have spent the time and money to upgrade. Now that those costs have been passed onto us - And you know it has. Now that millions of consumers have upgraded their televisions, added cable or satellite, or purchased their converter box.

NOW they changed the date to June 12, 2009.

This really ticks me off because of all the reasons why I listed above, but more than that. These buffoons in Congress are just plain crazy. With everything going on in our country (and beyond, because let's not forget we are still at war) they are concerned about whether every American will be able to watch TV?!

Are they serious?

I don't remember anyone saying to me that I have the right to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness AND clear digital TV. Is it in the wording somewhere with right to bear arms and free speech? Cause maybe I missed that part.

Well I hope the thousands of people that are unemployed, or homeless, or barely scraping by get their priorities in line with Congress. Forget about unpaid mortgages or rising utility costs. Forget about gas prices or grocery recalls. Forget about health care.

Focus on what really matters - The Digital Television Switch.

*End rant.

Lessons learned from FX

You always hear people say there's nothing on TV. Even though we have over 300 channels, including HBO there's nothing on. Some days I would have to agree, some weeks I would agree that the programming lacks any wow.

That's why I am so thankful to have titillating <--fancy schmancy word alert-- shows back on the air. Shows that may not be educational or critically acclaimed but they are "watch worthy".

Feel good shows like Gossip Girl, where the young upper crust East Coasters can be as bad as they wanna be...and yet still be fashion forward and likable. On the other side of the coast there's 90210. The new 90210 where moral dilemma surrounds them each week...and guest stars Kellan Lutz aka Emmett Cullen. A glimpse of him is enough to make me tune in.


I also watch a lot of reality TV. The ghetto, train wreck, you-just-want-to-bitch-slap-them reality TV that VH1 produces and ones with just a little bit more substance on Bravo. I know it's bad. I know it's trashy. But I can't help but watch. Those sneaky producers know how to draw us in with previews of girl fights, drunken stupidness and other questionable behavior.


Then there's FX. For those not familiar it's the basic cable equivalent to HBO. They have all the bad shows. And by bad I really mean good but naughty. Make sense? It's all about curse words, naked butts and overall bad behavior, with unbelievable plot lines to push it to the limit each week.

Over the years I've enjoyed Rescue Me, The Shield, Dirt, The Riches, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Damages, Sons of Anarchy and my all time favorite - Nip/Tuck.

Oh my beloved Nip/Tuck where the plot line has been at wonderful highs-the introduction of Kimber, Christian's son Wilbur, The Carver-all so good, but there has been plenty of lows too. Far too many to list here...the show isn't meant for everyone. Plain and simple.

It is however a learning tool. A learning tool? you ask. Well, yes.

I thought the best line ever was from Sons of Anarchy's first season and I've been saying it for months now-"Bad things happen to greedy whores."

How true.

Then this diamond sparkled in last night's episode of Nip/Tuck -

"Labels are meant for tuna cans, not people"

I say preach FX! Preach on!

Al Pacino, vampires & other mindless actions...

This week I've got to clean house, decide on food and games for the baby shower, find items for a yard sale, attend a booster meeting and a football game. It would have made more sense for me to get my hiney off the couch today, but I just couldn't do it.

I just love my hormones.

Instead I just vegged out in front of the tv with the Sunday paper. I love doing that, especially when I catch something good on.


HBO was the station of the day and when Scent of Woman came on, I realized that I had never seen it even though it was released 16 years ago. I guess I wasn't interested in this type of movie when I was 16 myself.

It was really good, but I'm a Pacino fan so I didn't expect anything less.

After that I didn't change the channel so I ended up watching The Wicker Man with Nicholas Cage. I've seen that before and I didn't like it much the first time but I was too lazy to get up and get the remote so I watched it again. Strange movie.

I tore myself away from the tube long enough to make dinner and then right back in time for the premiere of True Blood.

Not sure what to make of it yet. I love the scenes with Sookie and Bill, but the other scenes are odd. And the accents...I think some of the characters are trying a bit too hard to sound like they are from a podunk town in good ole' Louisana.

I reserve the right to form an actual opinion later in the season.

Blah...

Have you ever felt that way? I'm just here and I got a case of the "lazies". (I realize this is not a word and probably would not be spelled like that if it were, but I'm too lazy to care.) There are so many things I should be doing.

For one my house needs a serious good cleaning. I talking about top to bottom, windowsills, baseboards, the whole enchilada. But instead of cleaning on Sunday, I took a nap. Definite lack of motivation here.

I also need to get rolling on the baby shower, shop for birthday presents and Christmas (HELLO! It's less than 4 months away...yes, I said LESS THAN), work on booster projects, and at this very moment I should be working instead of blogging.

I suppose it's everything combined that makes it all seem overwhelming and it's got me psyched out. I've been slacking on my menu plans and making new recipes...instead we had a frozen food mecca at my house last week.


I need to get on track. And quick.

I have some good news though. (No, I did not save a bunch of money on my car insurance...)

I think Mickey has taken up residence somewhere else (based on the amount of poison around my house, I would say he's in mice heaven) but I'm still keeping an eye out for any evidence.

And I've taken a look at the new TV line up for this fall...lots to look forward to including the "new" 90210, Gossip Girl, The Shield and last but not least True Blood on HBO.

You know I ♥ vampires!

I just realized the other day this has been a thing of mine for a long time. When I was younger, think middle school age, I loved, loved, loved the original Salem's Lot and I would stay up late on school night's to watch it over and over unbeknownst to my parents.

What shows are you looking forward to?