Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Highs and Lows

My everyday consists of highs and lows. I'm not sure if this is true for everyone, but it makes me feel better to think so.

On a normal day a high would be having someone else cook dinner or leaving work early; a low would be a problem at work or having a police officer call you because your kid is speeding. Yes, this really happened.

However today's high and lows are more like peaks and valleys.

We lost my Granny one year ago today. It was the worst day of my life, and I didn't even know it yet. I didn't find out until the next day when we docked. My oldest nephew had left me a message and when I got cell phone connection in Jacksonville I heard that familiar beep.

Never in a million years did I expect to find that message. I thought she was eternal. My Granny had always been there for me and I chose to believe she always would be. When Lil Sis wrote about Granny last week she described her as our "Big Momma"...to me she was just Mom.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and I miss as much today as I did one year ago.

In some sad twist of fate she passed away on my Dad's birthday. So today we will celebrate his 49th with heavy hearts. It's safe to say that his birthday will never be the same.

Before we celebrate his birthday this evening S and I will be signing our life away. At least it will feel that way.

We decided right before Christmas to take advantage of the lower mortgage rates and refinance our home for less years. It's taken until today to get everything done - gathering all the documents, signing for a "locked in" rate, the ride by appraisal, the actual appraisal.

Once all the "t's" are crossed and the "i's" are dotted we will have shaved off about 7 years of our mortgage while keeping the same payment we have now.

I'm so thankful that the housing market is still somewhat stable in our area, allowing us to be able to make this change.

I'm thankful that I had my Granny for so long and that she will continue to live in my heart forever.

I'm thankful for the family that I still have here with me and that I will be surrounded by them today.

I'm thankful for everyone that reads my blog and offered me some much needed support yesterday.

It's these "highs" that will carry me through today.


Carrie said...

Sending hugs and prayers your way!

Denise said...


Its so hard to lose someone we love so dearly. I'm so sorry. It still hurts even though time passes by, but the pain will dull a bit eventually. Cherish those sweet memories of her.

Oh, and kick you kid's booty a good one!

April said...


Too Many Hats said...

Yes, the anniversary of losing someone so special is always difficult. Youare keeping Granny's memory alive and that is a tribute to her.

Congratulations on the re-finance :)

Jayme said...

you know I can sympathize. I haven't had my Nanny for 7 years and I miss her and still hear her laugh like nothing ever happened. Your dad's birthday will eventually get back to normal but you'll never forget the impact of the day. Hugs to you - I got you on my brain today big time!

Samey said...

Why do you think that they, grand-daddy and granny, passed away on their biological children's birthdays? It's so weird.

I miss her. I don't know how to talk to dad today. I am scared I will upset him. Let me know if you are going to take flowers up there... I'm not going to today, I don't think that I can.

Aleta said...

You made me think of my grandmother. She the only grandmother between Greg and I that is still living. She's 82 years old and I can't imagine her not being here. Thanks for reminding me to think of her.

*hugs* to you. I'm glad you were able to get the refinancing on your mortgage.

Lula! said...

Oh, Brandy...