This is NOT a True Blood post

I'm sure you're shocked since I've already posted about True Blood twice this week, but I'm giving it a little break. And I'm giving ME a little break.

Instead I found this little gem of a website. I know Lula will appreciate it just as much as I did.

I give you the People of Walmart.

Enjoy.

What was that? Okay fine.



Happy now?

***Dammit. Kat just informed me that this photo is a fraud. Yes, that's Eric/Alex's face but that's not his bod. And to think it too me forever (okay like 5 minutes) to find it & then it's a FAKE. Hmph.

According to this Eric/Alex says he doesn't shave his armpits. Period.

I was ran ragged by a 5 year old...

My nephew should be starting a new daycare/after school program next week, but during the transition my Lil Sis still needed a babysitter for him. She asked my Dad, and he agreed, but we all knew that really meant I would be the one doing it.



See, I work for my Pops so basically I got paid to babysit. Not a bad gig, especially if you like the kid you're watching & I just so happen to love my nephew.

For the past three days he was here with me until about 5ish when I get off from work and dang it, I'm exhausted! Truth is he wasn't even that much trouble, mostly playing on the computer, watching TV or playing with his toys.



I took him outside to play yesterday and within 5 minutes he says "I think this is perfect weather for the DS." and then proceeded to go inside to get his DS so I didn't even have to run after him.

The only thing I can figure is that I'm tired from all the talking. He's little Mr. McChatty, and when I'm the only one in the house with him I was blessed with ALL the conversation.



You may have seen some of my best moments noted on FB such as when he said:

"BTW, I have to go poop." in the middle of a conversation and then promptly went upstairs.

or "You're just being 'health-ful'." I asked him why I was being 'healthful' thinking maybe he noticed all the fruit I was eating. Nope. I was being 'healthful' because I wouldn't let him play on the computer. He meant to say hateful.

or yesterday when he was watching Teen Titans & they had a monster of some sort on there. He ran over to tell me about it and excitedly said it was "terrified". "So he was scared of the Teen Titans?" I asked. "No he was scary." "OH, so he was 'terrifyING'?" "Yeah he was terrified!"



All the talking was truly exhausting when I'm usually here by myself but I think I've narrowed it down and found the real reason why I'm so tired. Everyday I faced with goldfish crackers, gummy bears, french fries, peanuts, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches - all mocking me & testing my willpower.



You don't know how hard it was to throw away the popcorn chicken he didn't eat because he doesn't "like little chicken".

Or maybe you do know.

Kudos to all you mothers of small kids. You are my new heroes.

For your viewing pleasure...

In lieu of the witty banter you would normally find here (yeah right!) I'm posting this for all my True Blood peeps. Apparently Eric seems to be the fan favorite & I can certainly see why. Nom, nom, nom.



**As a follow up on yesterday's post, I wanted to let you know that I hit my toes on a grocery buggy twice yesterday & then hit the top of my foot on my refrigerator door last night. Ugh.

**I also want to offer my deepest condolenses to Kori & her family. Her husband Richard lost his battle with cancer last night. :(

"I broke my femur"

"Damn! I broke my &^%@$*^^ femur."

That was my first thought this morning as I slammed my arm into a dresser corner. Pain vibrated through my arm & up my shoulder.

Gah! It hurt like HELL.

That might explain why I thought "femur" when in fact that is part of your leg, not your arm. The pain was so excruciating that it affected my brain & made me forget my anatomy lessons.

Google has since informed me that it was my "radius" that I wrecked havoc on this morning with my clumsiness. Thank goodness for Google.

I have turned into a clumsy oaf in my old age. Stray bruises are pretty common & I'm always banging my toes into something. Table legs, chests, cabinets, chairs - I don't discriminate when it comes to toe banging.

It's got to be pretty bad when S suggests that you stop wearing open toe shoes because he fears for your toes safety.

Poor, poor toes. I feel bad for them, I really do, but I'm not giving up my flip flops. They (& S) can forget it.

As Renoir said, “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”

Of course Renoir probably never waxed his cha-cha, plucked his eyebrows, wore Lycra or hit his toe so hard that it messed up a fresh pedicure, so he might not be the best authority on the subject.

But don't expect me to start wearing steel toe boots anytime soon. Although you might catch me sporting these...



Attractive huh?

Dear True Blood

Dear Producers/Writers/Directors of True Blood,

I sincerely love True Blood.

In the second season I've *almost* forgotten all about the bad accents because the plot line is just THAT good. I wait all week for Sunday night's so that I can find out the next twist in Bon Temps.

Having said all that I'm pretty f'in pissed that we the show was only 46 minutes last night. Just imagine what could happen if the show managed to last the ENTIRE hour, as it is supposed to.

So in the future I expect a FULL 60 minutes of Sookie, Bill, Eric, Jason, Lafayette, Tara and all the other kookie sumbitches on that show. Ya' hear!

Your loyal & devoted fan,

Brandy ♥

P.S. Jason Stackhouse should be contractually obligated to go shirtless in every episode. Amen.

Revenge is so sweet...

Remember my Back to School post where the teen dissed me?

When I got home on Wednesday I confronted the little bastard him.


Can't you see the remorse on his face?

Yeah me either.

So I threatened to post embarrassing pictures of him on my blog for all the world to see. Of course being the cocky, know-it-all teen that he has become he just laughed at me.

Little did he know that I've already featured this picture TWICE:


Or that I would have no guilt about posting this one:



And he probably didn't think I would go a few years back to show you why his nickname is "Stash":



Or that I would remember this video from last year where he was a "chicken":



Forget about chocolate...

Revenge is sweet enough.

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
For nine days straight I had nothing but milk & water. Then yesterday I gave in and had a cup of coffee with Southern Butter Pecan creamer -YUM! It's not restricted on FBD as long as you count the calories.

2. Take vitamins everyday.
Can you believe that I forgot to take them on Tuesday?! For no reason then I'm an forgetful idiot.

3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
Happy to say that we went to the park & played tennis last night. I worked up a nasty sweat but had a great time doing it.

4. Continue FBD's 28-day plan.
See below

OMGosh! So far the FBD has been great! Here are the basics of the plan...

*3 meals & 1 snack @ 400 calories each
*Include a MUFA (monounsaturated fat) with every one (this is included in the 400 calories)
*MUFA's include nuts, olive oil, peanut butter, dark chocolate or semi-sweet chips, avocados, olives, etc.

In order to stick within those guidelines I plan my "menu" the night before and pack anything I'll need at work. Some of the things I've had this past week:

*Brownies w/ walnuts (FBD recipe)
*Dark chocolate chips
*Banana pancakes w/ walnut honey syrup (FBD recipe)
*Wendy's chili

This morning I had two corn tortillas filled with egg, cheese, guacamole and black bean salsa. This is MY kind of diet!

I'm not saying it's perfect though. There are some things on the MUFA list that I'm not in love with such as avocados or black olives so I'm limited to which foods I eat. For example when I had the Wendy's chili, I just had to eat 10 green olives with it. They don't necessarily go together but in order to fit in my MUFA that's what I did.

The other thing that I'm not crazy about is the "out to eat" suggestions in the book. They only list fast food options but S & I like to go out to dinner on the weekends and we normally stay away from fast food.

Basically I'll just have to pre-plan like crazy and decide what I'll have before we go, adjust portions accordingly & take a MUFA with me just in case. It's easy enough to pack a few sunflower seeds or almonds so it won't be the end of the world.

Weight wise I've lost another 2 pounds (as of this morning; I weigh myself entirely too much so I know it fluctuates day to day) & another inch on my waist/muffin top.

So this week my goals are:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Continue FBD's 28-day plan.

How did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

Back to School - NYASM style

For the last week friends have posted pictures of their kids heading back to school on their blogs & Facebook. I've commented & "liked" photos of their kiddies dressed in their first-day-wear, most of them looking pretty excited.

Or at least their mothers made them smile. Whatever...

In return I thought I would post a picture of the teen on his first day as an official senior so you guys could oooh & ahhhh over it...


Um, yeah.

It just didn't happen. Instead here is what took place this morning...

Scene #1 with Brandy:

(As we passed in the hallway)

Teen: "Loser"
Me: (a half open eye, very groggy) "Shut up"


Scene #2 with S:

(In the kitchen)

S: "Have a good day at school"
Teen: (laughs as if this is a retarded statement)
S: (play punches teen in the kidneys)
Teen: (laughs harder)


Scene #3 with Brandy:

Me: "Teen!"
Me: "Teen!"
Me: "TEEEEEENN!"
Me: (walks to down the hall to his room) "Hello?"
Me: (looks out the window to find he has already left)

Not only did I NOT get a picture but I also did NOT get a goodbye.

~sigh~

I'm a pusher.

Have you ever felt like you were extremely busy, but when you sat down to think about it, you couldn't really think of anything you had accomplished?

Yeah that's me lately.

It just seems like I'm so busy, but doing what I ask myself?

*I've been following the FBD for the last week, which takes a lot of planning. That means combining foods with the required MUFA's, adding calories and packing in advance.

*Shopping. Two weeks ago it was a "shop til you drop" marathon during the tax free weekend. Plus a trip to Sam's, multiple grocery store trips & a few CVS transactions thrown in.

*Back to school. School starts tomorrow so I....ummm, who am I kidding? As long as I buy the right stuff (see above) the teen prepares himself. S went to the school to pay his fees & pick up his schedule so I didn't even do that.

*Reading. I finished One Thousand White Women last week. When I started reading the book it didn't immediately click with me, but before long I was completely intrigued with the characters & their story.

*TV. You know reality TV is my thang, so I'm all about some Big Brother & The Real Housewives of Atlanta with some America's Best Dance Crew thrown in for good measure.

*Darts. The summer league ended last Thursday. We ended up 4th. Out of 4 teams. Ha! BUT we are a C league team playing against A & B league teams. Besides we were only 4 games behind 3rd place so I don't feel that bad.

I have to admit though, this is the real "time suck" in my life...


And the best part is that I got S addicted to it too.

Just call me the pusher...

Ready for Fall...

The Fall TV season anyway.

Among my long list of favorites is...

Sons of Anarchy - (September 8 FX)



Gossip Girl - (September 14 CW)



Vampire Diaries - (September 10 CW)



The Good Wife - (September 22 CBS)



I might even check out the new Melrose Place - (September 8 CW)



Or Cougar Town - (September 23 ABC)



And definitely Glee - (September 9 Fox)



Because Glee's creator also brought me this little gem...

Nip/Tuck - (October TBA FX)



If you want to check out the Fall schedule (and see why NBC is so lacking in interesting shows) TV Guide has the preview.

Tell me, what shows are you looking forward to?

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. Did it!
2. Take vitamins everyday. Did it!
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week. Sorta.
4. Start the 4 day jump start on Monday. DID IT!

Let's talk a little about the FBD 4 day jumpstart...

Part of it is drinking "Sassy Water". If you are going to try this diet DO NOT TRY this water. It sucked major ass. MAJOR.

I bought everything that was called for (mint leaves, cucumbers, lemons & ginger) made it up & then ended up throwing it out after one glass. Since then I've been drinking 2 liters of water everyday PLAIN or with lemon, but certainly NOT sassy.

Ewww.

The other bad things (for me) was eating a pint of tomatoes. I got about halfway through and thought I would hurl, so yesterday I ate till I was full instead of forcing myself to eat the whole pint. That worked so much better for me.

Other than those small issues, I didn't like the blandness of the food. BUT I know it was part of the jumpstart and not true of the other foods/recipes on the Flat Belly Diet. If you are like me & used to salt/pepper then make sure you pick up a bottle of Mrs. Dash. It was a lifesaver!

Today is my last day of the jumpstart and I'm proud to say that I did not cheat. Even with all my hormonal issues this week, I resisted temptation. It was tough to watch the guys eat cheeseburgers & taco salads while I had a HALF** a piece of chicken w/ rice & green beans, sans butter, salt or pepper.

**Yes, I said HALF. A serving size of protein should be 3 ounces, while a typical chicken breast is 6-7 ounces. Crazy huh.

Even crazier is that I was full after eating each meal. That just goes to show you that I was overeating like MAD.

Three days into the FBD and I've lost about 2 pounds & 1/2 inch @ the boobs, the hips & the muffin top. Not too shabby for three days of effort and NO extra exercise.

So this week my goals are:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Continue FBD's 28-day plan.

How did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

The Trifecta...

**Warning: There will be some discussion of female bizness. If you think this will cause your eyes to bleed, much like the crying vamps on True Blood, then stop reading now. However, if you stop reading right now you are still obligated to leave me a comment about how much you love me.**

I'm feeling a little bit better today. Yesterday I had the trifecta of badness...and I'm not talking about three loser horses.

A little back story...

I started taking Yaz in May to help with my PMDD & all the other bad things that happen during your period. My doc had given me a two month supply along with my Rx so I didn't have it filled at a pharmacy until last month.

It was there the pharmacist told me this particular medicine needed pre-approval. Blah, blah, blah - basically my doc had to sign off that I was taking this because it was medically necessary and not because I just didn't want to have babies. Cause there are a million other cheaper b.c.'s out there & my insurance company is a bunch of cheap bastards.

Since Yaz is a brand name drug with no generic it's expensive even with insurance, so to save myself some dinero, I decided to utilize the mail order program that's available through my provider.

That explains why I took my last pill on Sunday without any new pack to start. And my period started.

Yesterday, I was on my period (1), without any pills to stop it (2) AND I was on day 2 of the Flat Belly Diet Jumpstart (3).

The true trifecta of badness.

No pills Monday & Tuesday morning meant that it was the heaviest flow I've had since May and I really didn't know when my pills would show up.

The mail order company has a website but it's impossible to navigate & their employees wouldn't give me an exact delivery date. Plus the FBD jumpstart is 4 days of the bland ass food, no caffeine & 2 liters of water a day.

Seriously NOT what my hormones were hollering for yesterday.

Thankfully the pills were waiting for me when I got home yesterday. Otherwise I would have been elbow deep in chocolate cake & washing it down with a sweet tea...

...dang that sounds good.


Remember...it's your last chance to bid; Kori's auction ends tonight!

Trust me...

You would much rather visit Kori's auction then hear me whine. It would A LOT of whining.

...trust me.

So rather than tell you how I awful I feel right now, I'll just show you the way to the auction where you can bid on the over 40 FABULOUS items that's up for grabs right now.

It's for a wonderful cause...

...trust me.

Is this a bad sign?

When I see a REAL tree in my very own yard...


...and instantly think of Farmville & Farmtown?



I might needz rehab.

Kori's Auction

Kori is one bloggers that people just fall in love with - me included. She has been through so much, but her faith is still so strong and I'm inspired by her strength and perseverance.

Since Kori had to take her blog private earlier this year, I'll give you the short version of her story. Kori's husband of 8 years, Richard, is battling CF & colon cancer. He's currently in the hospital and under hospice care.

As you can assume, the medical bills are astronomical.

I couldn't imagine being in a position where I have to worry about money, while my husband is suffering. I couldn't imagine having to juggle everything else while planning my husband's funeral.

I couldn't do it.

But Kori does. Everyday. She's raising two boys, taking care of Richard & still working.

To help with Kori's financial struggle Shannon is hosting an auction for her on Tuesday, August 11.

You can find all the details here.

Please make a note to come back on TUESDAY, to bid on some great items and help out an amazing blogger & her family.

"Trim the Fat" Thursday

Even though I didn't meet all my goals this week, I'm trying to stay positive. You remember all that baking I did on Sunday? Well I ended up gifting the cobbler & 99% of the pineapple zucchini cake. I only had one piece to try it, then the rest went with S to work.

It was a good idea to send them on their way...

Goals last week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day. Did it!
2. Take vitamins everyday. Did it!
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week. Not so much...
4. Finish reading the Flat Belly Diet. Did it!
5. Possibly start the 4 day jump start. If not start tracking calories. Still working on this one...

I made a grocery list to do the 4 day jump start but I haven't' been to the store yet. While making the list, I had to make some adjustments to the original menu because I don't eat tuna or mushrooms. (It looks like I'll be eating a lot of turkey and chicken that week.)

Initially I thought it would be easier to do over the weekend, but the more I think about it eating two meals at work and then only having to do dinner with the boys would probably work better.

So that means Monday is the BIG day. Wish me luck!

Goals this week:

1. Drink 4 glasses of water a day.
2. Take vitamins everyday.
3. Do 20 minutes of exercise 2 days a week.
4. Start the 4 day jump start on Monday.

How did you do this week?

If you are participating in "TTFT" don't forget to link up at Angie's place!

Under Siege - Attack of the Birds

This is the view from our backyard everyday. Every. Stinkin'. Day.

S has declared war with them.

Because as you can imagine with birds comes bird poop. Poop on the cars, poop on the driveway, poop on the patio, poop on the hot tub (that one really eats him up)...poop, poop, poop.

Honestly I was afraid to go outside and video them for fear of...the poop.

S wasn't there last night when I filmed this, so I washed off the hot tub while I was outside. I figure it was the least I could do since I brought the birds.

Yes, he blames me. He believes ALL these birds, thousands & thousands of birds, were brought forth to perch in our trees because I put out one bag of bird seed 4 months ago.

ONE bag. FOUR months ago. THOUSANDS of birds.

I don't think so.

Men vs. Women

Do you know why men are so different than women?

The question has been asked over & over without any definitive answer. Scientists point to this or that chromosome, some guy said they were from Mars and women were from Venus, blah, blah, blah.

I don't know why but they ARE different. Without question.

When S & I have a fight argument disagreement discussion he's usually over it 4 seconds later. While I stew on it for at least the next hour.

Unless I'm wrong, but of course that NEVER happens so...

I can't just "get over it" as he advises me to do. I have to think about it, analyze it, and try to fix it. My thoughts are that if we don't resolve whatever it is then it's inevitable that we will discuss it at a later date.

He thinks if we are using inside voices again then the issue is resolved.

As if.

For example we were at McD's this weekend in the drive-thru and the lady at the window asked us to pull up to the white line to wait since our food wasn't quite ready. Now it's important to know that the "white line" is in fact a "white section" about a foot long.

S pulled up to the first part of the white line. A few seconds later the car behind us beeps the horn and indicates for him to move up. Instead he just sits there insisting that the lady said "white line" and he's at the "white line".

I reason that the he can stay on the "white line" and still move up enough to where she can get out. About that time the food comes out and we are on our way, but the discussion continues.

"Why couldn't you just move up?"
"I was told to go to the white line; I was on the white line."
"Yes, but you could have moved up 3 inches so that lady could get out and still have been on the white line."

This went on the rest of the way home until we went in and ate a pretty quiet lunch with the teen. Me still fuming over the discussion and him ignoring my fuming. I'm not ashamed to say that I was still a little perturbed an hour later when he tried to kiss me goodbye, although I did eventually get over it.

I realize this is a dumb thing to discuss but it just shows how differently we think.

And don't get me started on "circus". Let me just state for the record that saying "Do you wanna do it?" does nothing to get me hot & bothered.

Wonky...

I'm all out of sorts this morning. As you know Mondays aren't my most inspirational days and today is no exception.

Nothing exciting happened this weekend to brag about. Unless you count a 15 minute trip to get ice cream on Saturday. Ooooooooh! Or a 30 minute trip to CVS yesterday. Ahhhhhhhh!

I know you're jealous.

Yesterday the teen left for band camp so S went up to help get the kids luggage unloaded & set up for their practices this week. That meant I had some free time just to myself.

And I don't know about you but when I've got some free time I like to get CRAZY.

Yeah right.

I ended up watching the The Next Food Network marathon & baking. See... I CAN still party. Just with flour, eggs & sugar.

I made another cherry cobbler, this Pineapple Zucchini cake (The Pioneer Woman herself recommended this one) and because I was still up to my elbows in shredded zucchini, I went ahead and made a Double Chocolate Zucchini bread.

Is there any wonder why I participate in TTFT?

Anyway tomorrow might be better.

But I wouldn't count on it.