The Return of the Living Dead

Unless you follow me on FB, you may not know the reason for my prolonged absence.

I've been Ill. Sick. Unwell. Weak. Fatigued. Achy. Whiny. Dying.

But even worse, I'm not even sure my doctor really knows what the hell was wrong with me.

It started with a dry, scratchy throat on Sunday, then turning to a full blown hacking cough by Monday morning. I figured some Vicks and bed rest would do the trick, but when I woke up with a fever on Tuesday I knew a visit to the doc was necessary.

She took two vials of blood {yes TWO!}, wrote me two {yes TWO!} scripts for cough syrup, slapped my ass and sent me on my way saying it was just a viral infection that would "work itself out."

By Thursday I wasn't sleeping, although I was sweating like one of the Biggest Loser contestants and still coughing my guts up. Sounds like fun huh?

So I called the office back and got a nurse. Not the one I normally see. She said it was the flu and that the CDC had recommended that otherwise healthy people should "just work through it." Are you sensing a pattern?!?

Even when I reiterated just how miserable I was again, Nurse Biznatch just said "That's the flu." in a voice that was a bit too cheery for my taste. Whore.

Anyway long story short I suffered through the weekend before calling again yesterday. My regular nurse said it sounded like the swine flu.

Yes. The SWINE FLU. Remember all that blood they took? Apparently no one ever thought to use it for diagnosis. ~sigh~

She called me in some antibiotics and told me to pick up some Mucinex.

I don't know what it was. They don't know what it was. What I do know is that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Word of advice - Wash your hands people. And wash them often.