Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Letter for the Northpole


Dear Santa,

It's that time of year again but I'm not going to tell you how good B has been. We all know she has been extremely very really so kinda sorta a little maybe good. Instead I'm going to give you a few tips when stopping by this year.

1. Please take your shoes off, or at least wipe your feet. Cleaning up the soot last year was a pain in the ass.

2. I'm sure the reindeer like to rest while you are delivering packages, but I'd appreciate if you could clean up after them. Finding reindeer poo in my front yard was not the gifts I had in mind.

3. If you aren't going to eat the whole plate of cookies, please don't bite into each one. No one wants your leftovers.

4. Crumbs belong in the trash, not on my table or on the floor. The vacuum is in the closet next to the front door.

5. While I'm sure you have a lovely tree at home, please don't move my ornaments around. I decorated the tree like that on purpose.

It's really great of you to deliver gifts to good boys and girls every year but you need to remember you are also entering people's homes so please be considerate. We try to leave treats for you and the reindeer - the least you could do is clean up after yourself.

Sincerely,

B's right nostril*

*This is the only body part that seems to be functioning properly this morning.

12 comments:

~Trish~ said...

Hope you get to feeling better! What a fun post!!

Jennifer said...

ha! that was good!! i think i should post this letter for Santa and any other company/visitors I may have this holiday season!! :)

xoxoxo

Jenners said...

Visiting from MamaKat's writers workshop posts...

Love your spin on the letter to Santa! Should be printed and posted by all fireplaces for the Big Guy to read! (And maybe husbands too.)

Great post!

Denise said...

Well he is a MAN, you can't expect too much from him. Personally, I might be more forgiving if he left ME a present!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Ha! Love the letter...

Aleta said...

Awww, cute post and so sorry it's only one nostril working (miserable, I know)...

Lump said...

"If you aren't going to eat the whole plate of cookies, please don't bite into each one. No one wants your leftovers."

HAHAHA! This really made me upset as a child. No kidding. I used to complain to my mom how Santa wasted so many good cookies! ;)

Jen said...

LOL!!!! that was a great letter.

Misadventurous Mommy said...

I've often wanted to write the same letter...we probably all have.

Kat said...

Santa re-arranges your ornaments? I am surprised he has time for such reindeer games ;-)

Carey said...

Great letter! Hope you feel better soon...otherwise you can ask Santa for the gift of two functioning nostrils!

-Carey
www.lifeingthecarpoollane.com

Shannon said...

Great letter!

My fave part?

"Sincerely,

B's right nostril"