It's that time of year again but I'm not going to tell you how good B has been. We all know she has been
1. Please take your shoes off, or at least wipe your feet. Cleaning up the soot last year was a pain in the ass.
2. I'm sure the reindeer like to rest while you are delivering packages, but I'd appreciate if you could clean up after them. Finding reindeer poo in my front yard was not the gifts I had in mind.
3. If you aren't going to eat the whole plate of cookies, please don't bite into each one. No one wants your leftovers.
4. Crumbs belong in the trash, not on my table or on the floor. The vacuum is in the closet next to the front door.
5. While I'm sure you have a lovely tree at home, please don't move my ornaments around. I decorated the tree like that on purpose.
It's really great of you to deliver gifts to good boys and girls every year but you need to remember you are also entering people's homes so please be considerate. We try to leave treats for you and the reindeer - the least you could do is clean up after yourself.
B's right nostril*
*This is the only body part that seems to be functioning properly this morning.