Wednesday, December 2, 2009

"Crazy ass people like me"...

Yesterday I was bitching about putting up the tree and I would like to say that my mood has much improved since then.

Not so much.

My morning was off to a great start when I got behind this HAG driving 10 UNDER the speed limit in the left lane. When I was finally able to get around her, I showed my appreciation by flipping her the bird.


I've always had a low tolerance for stupid people but now my patience is also gone. It makes for a nice combo when I'm in public.

Yesterday I thought I could make a quick run to Big Lots and pick up some new ornaments. I grabbed what I needed and went to the front to check out. Lines were 6-7 people deep. On a Tuesday. At 1 o'clock. WTF?!

And by "lines" I mean TWO. There were only TWO frickin' lines open. Apparently they had failed to recognize TUESDAY as a big shopping day.

I tried to patiently wait. One customer down. Two customers down. Okay, only 4 in front of me now. Even though I had exactly one thing to purchase and everyone in front of me had full carts, "I CAN do this!" I thought.

Then it happened. The retard at the counter had the wrong thing and the clerk had to go off in search of the right thing or a price check or something that required her ass to leave the counter. I'm not exactly sure since I was STILL 4 people back.

What I do know is that when she still had not returned a couple minutes later I did a BBW (remember?)- put my stuff back & left.

I honestly could not stand there another second.

Of course I still needed ornaments so I stopped at Walmart after work. I thought it would be a quick trip since the outdoor center entrance is where the seasonal stuff is.

Why do I keep doing this to myself??

Those Walmart whores had closed that entrance.

Okay fine. I'm already there so I go in. I cannot find the ornaments I want but that's okay too. I change up my plans a couple of times while browsing the aisles.

Here's where the problem lies. I said 'excuse me' what seemed like a MILLION times. Only ONE lady responded. One. ONE!

Does shopping make most people deaf and/or mute and I just don't know about it? Because honestly if one more person had ignored me I would have Karate Kid'd their ass.

It was at that moment I decided it was time to go.

I got in the express lane where there was only one customer ahead of me. They had several items (well over the express limit) but that didn't bother me since it appeared they were at the end of the transaction when I got there.

Then the last item wouldn't scan. OMG! Enter the manager, the price check, the frickin' whole shebang again.

Seriously. I couldn't believe my luck, but this time I waited.

Finally the manager got the price in and gave the couple their total. It was only at this time that it occurred to the guy that he would have to pay for his stuff. I can only assume that since he only pulled out his wallet and began to count cash at. that. very. moment.

I can also assume that math is not his strong suit since it took him FOREVER to count it out.

I thought my head would explode. "CLEAN UP ON AISLE 2!"

I realize it's the holiday shopping season. I know there will be long lines and new cashiers. I can deal with those things but some stuff is unforgivable.

For the love of my sanity please follow these simple rules while shopping: (Not following them might result in violence. I'm just sayin'. There are probably other crazy ass people like me out there.)

-Please finish shopping BEFORE getting in line. No, I will not hold your spot while you get Lil Johnnie's underwear that you forgot. Yes, I will sigh and give you dirty looks when you are too stupid to know what you picked up.

-Please be ready to pay at the end of your transaction. It should come at no surprise that you will need money for that. Whether it's cash, credit or check have it ready. Not in your pocket, not at the bottom of your purse or with your husband who's in the car.

-Please acknowledge me when I say excuse me. Or better yet, say it yourself when you cut in front of me.

-Please park in ONE space. I know it's hard but COME ON one car=one space. Parking diagonally or with your tire in the space next to you prevents someone else from parking there. And no one likes slashed tires.

These are just a few of the things that irk me. Trust me when I say there are dozens of other reasons why I would cut a bitch these days.

Tell me, what's your biggest pet peeve? Go ahead get it off your chest. You're among friends.


kel said...

I agree with everything you just said! people are amazingly annoying!

Courtney (AKA MommaRoberts) said...

You have an award on my blog!!!

Living It, Loving It said...

Sounds like you had fun!

Heather said...

I don't even think I can leave a comment, I am laughing so hard.

Have I told you lately that I hate Walmart? And Big Lots? Those two stores must be idiot-magnets, for both patrons and employees alike. (Sorry if anyone is offended...sort of.)

My pet peeve is when people let their children run amuck in the stores, allowing them to run in front of your cart or just stand there, not caring if you need to get through.

Seriously, go to Target. Get yourself a Starbucks, wander up and down the gloriously clean and organized aisles, and you'll be much happier. It's worth the extra couple of dollars you'll spend.

Jen said...

Everyone should totally read and obey this list! Amen.

shortmama said...

Stupid drivers are my biggest pet peeve....the others I can tolerate.

CaraBee said...

I would like to add to this: SAYING THANK YOU.

I went to three stores yesterday. In ALL three, at the end of the transaction, the clerk handed me my receipt, change, whathaveyou, and without a word or even looking in my direction, turned around to talk to one of their fellow cashiers. No "have a nice day" or "thank you" or anything. A little courtesy? Customer service? Shot to hell.

mommaof4wife2r said...

my pet peeve: peeps flipping me off! he he he

WhisperingWriter said...

Amen to this!

People get stupid during the holidays I've noticed.

Too Many Hats said...

ROFLOL - that clean up on aisle 2 comment is making me chuckle. My pet peeve is taking my hubby shopping - he wants to go up and down every aisle when we only stopped in for a couple of specific things. Shhh, don't tell him, he is the bestest otherwise.

foxy said...

Oh man, stupid drivers ARE THE WORST.

And then those idiots with a cartload of shit in the express lane? I hate them with a passion.

Cathy said...

OMG.,.right there with ya sister.. I make faces, huff and puff and say things...G just looks at me like I'm crazy...well I am so get used to it.. I do not tolerate stupid people..

Shelley said...

Sorry Brandy, I luv you girl. You are after my own heart.
My pet peeve is people acting like they cannot see their children acting like monkeys in the stores. Oh and what else......the cashier acting like I owe her a living when it's her job to serve, who? ME!! That's right. My spending money at that establishment is paying your paycheck. So act like you want to be there. And if you don't, leave. Go find a job somewhere else.
I am in trouble cause I'm in the library laughing out loud.

Carrie said...

"It's the most wonderful time...of the year..."

heh heh heh

When we were driving to CT over Thanksgiving, we stopped at a service area off the turnpike and the entire car had to use the bathrooms. Midget had a dirty diaper and I needed to pee, so I waited in line for the stupid family bathroom for like 10 minutes.

My husband finally comes out and is playing with Midge because she was running all over the place--bored from waiting so damned long. When an ENTIRE family of Mom, Dad, and three kids comes out of the family bathroom, I yell to my husband to bring the bratster back to me and he isn't paying attention, so I have to run over to grab her.

As I'm hauling a screaming 2 year old over to the family bathroom, a huge woman is walking up to the family bathroom door. I couldn't help it! I just started screaming, "DO NOT USE THAT FAMILY BATHROOM!! IT IS FOR FAMILIES AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING TEN FRICKIN MINUTES TO TAKE MY KID IN THERE! DO NOOOOOOOOOT USE THAT BATHROOM!!"

Hellooooo--just because she had to drop the kids off at the pool does not qualify her to use the family bathroom!

I swear to God I would have dropped her to the floor if she'd have kept going for the bathroom!

Just in case you thought you were the only one who wants to kill rude people.

Lorie said...



Mommakin said...

Shopping at Christmas time! Yay!

The Royal Family said...

I hate hate hate it when the cashier is TOO lazy to tell me my total... I will just stand there waiting until someone tells me my total it's their job, silly I know buti t pisses me off!

April said...

I soooo feel ya on this. I HATE shopping this time a year. It's like people leave their brains at home!

Jody said...

There is one thing while shopping that is almost guarenteed to make me want to kill you.
That is walking down the aisle, stopping directly in front of me.... WHEN YOU CAN SEE I AM LOOKING AT WHAT IS IN FRONT OF ME!!

I have had to restrain myself from shoving people or yanking them by the hair to get them out of my way.
Here I am two feet or less in front of the counters and the dumb ass slides in front of me and stops.
Did they not see me looking at the pickles, bowl, sweater, ornament??

Jody said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blueviolet said...

I hate when a new cashier opens up and you're clearly the next in line but the people behind you run over there and take that spot.

Candice said...

Now don't you know that you should NEVER go to Wal-Mart when you are in a foul mood? That's a dangerous combo. We're talking commit murder type shit.

Oh, and the other day I saw one of those assholes that decided to park his/her BMW diagonally in the Target parking lot. What did I do? I went and parked my big ass SUV RIGHT by it.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I think we're twins.


I would NEVER go into walmart. (My girls call it Fart-Mart)

*~Dani~* said...

Maybe you should stay away from all stores until after the New Year. For that matter, maybe I should too. I am so glad I did most of my Christmas shopping online.