"AI" don't know about this...

I told myself I wouldn't do any posts about American Idol cause well everyone does.

BUT...

I have a few statements that I cannot hold back any longer and I've found that yelling at the TV doesn't satisfy me as much as I thought it would.

First and foremost most of the contestants SUCK!

It's like the AI producers gave these people some kind of crap-juice before they hit the stage. People who I LOVED during Hollywood week are now barely mediocre.

Which might explain the judges acting like they are part of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

"Not enough change."
"Too much change."
"Be more like yourself."
"Be less like yourself."

I'm hoping that the perfect bowl of porridge is coming soon because I simply cannot take it anymore.

And do not get me started on Ellen. I like Ellen, I really do. But not on American Idol. She hasn't said one thing of substance, she's wishy-washy and she repeats herself. It drives me nuts. Nuttier. Whatev.

I never thought I would say this...bring back Paula!

At least she was funny. Ellen, the "funny lady" is NOT funny on that panel. That is a fact.

Then you have Simon who looks B-O-R-E-D. Beyond bored. Aggravated & bored. Maybe he should have left with Paula.

The one highlight of the last two nights was that I recognized one of the contestants from the movie "Meet the Fockers":



Hey I want to give credit where credit is due and Jose did a FABULOUS job in that movie. Baaaahhhaaaaaa!

Come on over to my water cooler...

Let's chat about American Idol. I may as well because so far this morning that's what everyone is talking about.

The big AI upset. That American "got it wrong". The show is rigged. The conspiracy theories are running amok right now.

And I could care less.

Seriously, I didn't give a darn who won, but I called it early in the season that Adam wouldn't. Some of that was because S was rooting for him and it's always easy to push his buttons, but mainly it the was image that bothered me.

Having seen him you would think he was right up my alley with his black fingernail polish and eye makeup.

Here's my issue - I think the image was contrived. Made up. For show. Not real. Like he jumped into the nearest Hot Topic and got a "glam rock" make over from the cashier.



I couldn't get past that his background is in theater and this was just another character he was playing. He was trying to play America and I wasn't buying it.

Granted the kid could sing. But the faux image turned me off.

I wasn't a regular watcher and often did other things while it was on, but I'm glad that I watched the entire show last night because they had some heavy hitters on there with the contestants.

Like KISS. In full make up and costume performing with who else - the theatrical Adam. And Queen, Black Eyed Peas, Lionel Richie, Keith Urban...plus several others.

My fave though...when Kara DioGuardi (the new judge this season) lays the smack down on "bikini girl". Start watching around 1:35 and watch until 2:37 and you'll see too.



Guess she showed her huh?

Thankfully they turned the volume up...

I'm not going to recap American Idol, but I do have a couple things to say.

First you have to understand that I watched both shows on DVR last night so it was only then that I formed opinions about their performances.

After watching them both I have to say

THANK YOU AMERICA for finally getting rid of that non-singing, non-dancing, bird acting Megan!!

That girl sucked! Sorry but there is no sugarcoating it - she sucked. Actually I feel that may be generous because she was worse than sucky.

In fact if you have been trying to remember where you've heard that type of singing before here's your answer...



And the dancing. Oy! It was so bad it reminded me a lot of this famous footwork...

Watch more YouTube videos on AOL Video

Plus she didn't even act like it mattered with that "oh well" attitude and the bird flapping.

Ugh.

I know she was easy on the eyes and many of you were in denial about how truly sucky awful she was, so I appreciate you coming to terms with it. Again, THANK YOU America for finally turning up the volume and listening to her.

Now if you could come to terms with Scott leaving I would be truly grateful. Yes, I understand that he's blind, but he's no Stevie Wonder and it's just better that he go on home.

Other than Megan's sucky, sucky, SUCKY performance I just want to say this to Allison...PLEASE give my neighbor's rooster credit for the hair do.


What the hell is that?!

Some sort of punk rock/rooster/modern mullet? I dunno, but I did. not. like. it. at. all.

No doubt the girl can sing, but the hair was atrocious.

Can you tell I'm a little bitchy today?

Well you can chalk that up to a lack of sleep Wednesday night for both S and I. Yes, there's a story to tell here...and Mr. Comment Whore himself has wrote a post about it that will go up tomorrow.

Till then I'm relying on lots of caffeine... and comments so get to writing!